


Familiar grounds

by Capt_Birdie



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-08-09 01:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16440461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capt_Birdie/pseuds/Capt_Birdie
Summary: As Discovery hunts down the origin of the plot of Season 2, familiar faces join the crew and sharing a roof under necessities can cause friction.





	1. Lost in translation

**Author's Note:**

> So, I’ve seen some promos, and a panel. And an idea formed. This is the result. If you haven’t watched any of it, and don’t want to have an inkling about it then, consider yourself warned, this story contains some spoilers. 
> 
> The story will not be action packed, will not deal with the plot of the Season, and mostly it will be staged on Discovery with tons of dialogue and interactions.  
> Without further ado, onward my steady steeds!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is not right or is it?

“Beep” sounds the door chime of Ensign Sylvia Tilly.

“Coming, coming” echoes through the comm as Tilly approaches her door. To her surprise a slightly distressed Michael Burnham is the one who woke her up.

“Michael! Is everything all right?” asks Tilly. At the slight shaking of Michael’s head, she ushers the re-appointed commander inside.

“Tilly, I need your help.” and Michael shoves a PADD in Tilly’s direction.

Before managing to formulate a complete sentence, Tilly releases a yawn. “I don’t wish to sound rude, but can it wait until the morning? I had a double shift, and I’ll be on duty again in the morning.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I haven’t realised it is that late. I’ll … I’ll find you tomorrow.” and Michael heads out of the quarters.

Tilly is surprised. Stuttering is not something that is characteristic of Michael.

“Wait, what is this about?” asks Tilly, though she feels that she might regret this tomorrow.

“I … it’s just … ” Michael tries to gather her thoughts. “I’ve been in a regular contact with the Emperor, ever since we left Qo’nos.” admits Michael guilt slightly colouring her voice.

“Hmm.” hums Tilly knowingly, but as her mind catches up with what she’d heard “Wait, what?”

“It’s just short letters mostly about our respective counterparts. We never discuss current locations or jobs, assignments.” asserts Michael. “You know she has the ID of Captain Philippa Georgiou, and if I don’t want the Emperor to mess up Captain Georgiou’s history, then she needs some personal info, that was not available in the database.”

“And why are you interested in your counterpart?”

“Because it keeps her talking sometimes about other things as well. And maybe later on, that information could come in handy.” explains Michael.

“OK, then, again what is the problem, from your point of view?”

“Read these two.” and Michael shows Tilly which ones should she read.

“What am I looking for?”

“Just read them first.”

“Wow, they are really short letters. OK.”

“So, what do you think?”

“That I wouldn’t want to meet the Terran version of yourself?”

“No. Do you think that these two letters differ in tone? That there is something behind them?”

“Not particularly, no. Why what do you see?”

“That’s the problem. I’m not sure whether I’m seeing things because I interpret way too much from them, or because something is really inside.”

“What do you mean?”

“It is like her emotions are visible in each of those letters. The first one I showed you, she was bored. The second one, she was excited beyond what I’ve read before.”

“OK, I’ll bite. What’s the problem with her being excited?”

“It is really late if you ask that. What could get the Emperor excited?”

“Oh. Yeah. Do we really want to know?”

“That’s only part of the problem. My concern is that she hasn’t replied to my letter yet. What if she’d got herself into some trouble?”

“Trouble? Her? No way.”

“Tilly!”

“Fine! When were you supposed to have her reply?”

“A week ago. We agreed to reply exactly 3 weeks after receiving one.”

“A week is a long time. Look, I really cannot think straight right now, I think that can be said to you as well. Your brother is missing, you’re trying to find answers to those red thingies, you’ve been up for 36 hours, and to make matters worse this comes up. I say we sleep, then continue this tomorrow. That is if you don’t order me to analyse it now.”

“Order? Oh no. You’re right Tilly. Thanks for helping me. Not just with this case. I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah. And please try to actually get some sleep. Good night, Michael.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you for reading it. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> If you’ve read this then I assume spoilers are OK at this point. The background story for Season 2 is family as stated by the creators. Just saying.
> 
> Oh, yeah, and the goal is to finish it before the Season starts. I'm already at Chapter 10, around half of the way.


	2. Mother know best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are times when you need a sound advice.

Michael sits in the lounge, head uncharacteristically bowed, hunching over a PADD when Amanda Grayson sees her.

“Michael, is everything all right?”

“Oh! Hi, Amanda. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” sighs Michael. “What did you ask?”

“I asked if everything is all right, but your response more likely warrants the question, what is the problem?”

“I’m worried.”

“Me too.”

“Not about Spock. Well, yes about Spock as well, but - ” Michael looks around to check the rough distance of the surrounding people, then leans closer to Amanda “ Philippa has gone missing as well. I don’t know where she is or what she got herself into, but she is off the radar.”

“Isn’t that one of her special skills?”

“Yes, but we agreed on keeping touch, no matter what.”

“Really, and just how often are you communicating?” inquires Amanda in mirth.

Michael takes in a deep breath, shuts her eyes anticipating her mother’s response. “Every 3 weeks.”

“Interesting.” mulls Amanda, watching how Michael feels ashamed at her answer. “You’re communicating more often with her, with whom you have no connection, than with me?” slightly teases Amanda.

“Amanda, I…” Michael tries to reply, but Amanda puts her hand on Michael’s arm to silence her.

“Honey, please look at me.” At the warmth of her voice Michael shyly looks up at her.

Amanda leans closer so only Michael would hear her “I’ve told you before, and I stand by what I said. I understand and I honestly don’t mind. I’m usually in a safe place, well cared after and I do not have mass murderous tendencies.” Michael smiles at her foster mother’s use of words.

When Amanda catches Michael’s smile she straightens up. “What do you know?”

“Nothing. That’s the problem, I’ve spent the majority of the last day to figure out if there is something in her last message, then Tilly helped me for another 6 hours, but there is absolutely nothing. And there is nothing in any databases and or any intel on her whereabouts in the last 6 weeks.” blurts out Michael the quick assessment in exasperation.

“Well, then maybe that was her choice. She must have had a reason to disappear like that. She could’ve written you something in that letter had she been in any kind of danger.”

Michael stares at her PADD, thinking over and over what the letter is about, and what Amanda said. Coming terms with the reality that Amanda’s words actually sound reasonable she looks up at her.

“And she is not the damsel in distress type, she can handle herself.” continues Amanda.

Michael considers it, and as her inner reasoning wins, she nods her head in acceptance. “You’re right. But if that is the case what she’s up to?”

“Based on what you told me about her, if she is really up to something devious or just a slightly mischievous then we’ll hear about it rather sooner than later.” taunts Amanda.

“Let’s hope not.” Michael smiles at her, and in a gesture of gratitude she puts her hand on Amanda’s that is still resting on Michael’s arm, keeping her at bay.

“And Michael? You don’t have to justify your connection with her, it is understandable to care for her.”

“I am not …”

“Yes, you do. And so, does she.” counters Amanda.

“But …”

“Hush. No matter what kind of society she’d lived in, a mother is always a mother.” Her tone bears no objection and signals the end of Michael’s debate. Amanda stands up and touches Michael’s shoulder.

“Go get your sleep.” tells Amanda gently, but the unmistakable order from a mother resonates in it. “Good night, Michael!”

“Good night, Amanda!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who considers to read it!  
> As always, comments are welcome.


	3. A familiar guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not aggravate your old wounds

“Ah, Commander, good timing! Follow me!” greets Captain Pike Michael as she steps on to the bridge.

“Saru, you have the bridge!” orders Pike, and leaves with a stunned Burnham in his wake.

“Good morning to you too, sir.” starts Michael “How can I be of your assistance?”

“I’ve received a message from Command during the night. We’ll pick up somebody who’ll help us navigate on this side of the quadrant, arriving on a hauler ship.” state Pike while handing a PADD to Michael.

“I see, and who is this navigator?” asks Michael as they step out of the turbolift.

“I don’t know.” shrugs Pike “Honestly, they didn’t even give me a species or a sex. It is really confusing.” tells Pike, then he stops for a second and turns to Michael, his face scrunching up to a bit suspicious “I was told you’ll verify the person’s identity.”

“Will I?” balks Michael.

Her stunned expression eases the way Pike regards her and he motions to continue on with their path. “So, you don’t know anything about this?”

“No, sir. I have absolutely no idea.” Michael says walking in step with Pike along the corridor, passing people on their way.

“Well then, your guess is good as mine. But since they are already in transporter range, we’ll know it in a matter of minutes.” says Pike and leads Burnham down the corridor to the transporter.

As they step into the transporter room, Pike hails the bridge. “Lieutenant Reeves, hail the Arboghast! We’re ready for transport.”

“Aye sir.” confirms Reeves. “They are ready as well, sir.”

“Good. Pike out.” Pike turns to the Ensign at the transporter controls and signals to him.

As the transporter shimmers down, a familiar shape emerges. “Number One!” sounds an all too familiar greeting to Michael. “I’m happy to see you. I was hoping that it will be your ship to be sent to investigate.” Philippa Georgiou’s eye twinkle and a soft smile graces her lips.

Michael’s mind is racing with thoughts, but the Emperor’s gaze shows impatience, and her use of words of Number One, is an indication that others should remain oblivious to her persona, should Michael forget their predicament. “Captain?” addresses Michael Georgiou, the rank barely leaving her lips.

Pike looks questioningly at Burnham, “Ah, Commander?”

“Oh yes, sorry Captain.” stammers Burnham. “Captain Christopher Pike, this is Captain Philippa Georgiou.”

“Welcome aboard, Captain Georgiou! I’ve heard a lot about you.” exclaims an excited Captain Pike.

“Thank you, Captain.” nods the Emperor in a welcoming fashion as she steps down from the transporter “Don’t worry I’m not here to take the ship from you as you did.” says Georgiou as she extends her hand for a shake to Pike. Michael watches them intently, on guard, should the Emperor say something insulting.   

“And still it seems to me that you’re already try to snag my Commander.” replies Pike with a smile.

Georgiou’s eye twinkle in mischief “You already have a ship called Enterprise, Captain. Therefore, Michael is not _your_ Commander, but since she’d been _my_ Commander for seven years, if one of us could stake a claim on her, I’d say that would be me.” banters Georgiou with an uncharacteristic lightness in her voice.

Michael is floored with memories of her lost captain. She used the same tone when Philippa admonished her and Saru for their banter. And she plays is right down to the tee. Strange. Before, the Emperor acted like she couldn’t care less about others finding out who she really is, now she is more like her Captain than the Emperor. It’d be best to be on her toes for a while, until she figures it out what she wants.

“Fair enough.” accepts Pike with a smirk.

“Argh, well then. I’ve been told, we’ve prepared a quarter for you, you’ll find your luggage there.” inserts Michael with a glare to Georgiou.

“Ah, yes. Would you like to have a little time to yourself before we discuss the events at hand or shall we just go?” asks Pike.

“I’m all set for now, we can just jump into it.” replies Georgiou nonchalantly.

“Right, then let’s head to my ready room.” and a slightly amused Pike gestures for the two women to leave.

As they step out of transporter room to the bustling corridor Georgiou stops as if she’d forgotten something and turns to Michael.

“Michael, I’d be delighted if we could have dinner tonight. We didn’t really have a time to sit down and have a quiet evening after Qo’noS. I’d like to know how you’re faring.” surprising Michael who can only stand in silence. Georgiou lightly touches Burnham’s arm as if she’s really concerned, bringing Michael back to the present and she tersely replies with a weak “Yes, that would be great.”

Pike feels that there is an unspoken tension between the two women, so he opts a way out “You like being this far out?” asks Pike Georgiou out of the blue.

“It is an invigorating ride.” answers Georgiou and starts walking down the corridor to the turbolift while Michael rolls her eyes at her answer, and Pike looks at Burnham disbelievingly.

“Is everything all right between you two?”

“Yes. She’d just surprised me that’s all.”

“Aha.” Pike furrows his brows as Michael is quickly falling behind Georgiou, _all right my ass_.

........................

“Captain on the bridge!” announces Saru as he sees Pike’s face appear first, but he quickly falters back as he notices the all too familiar person aboard the Discovery.

“At ease. Everyone, I believe you all know Captain Philippa Georgiou. She’ll be helping us out in finding the source of these signals.” and he nods to Saru to follow them to the ready room.

Georgiou stops to look around.

“Ensign Detmer,” then Georgiou steps beside the helm officer with a smile, her hands clasped together behind her back “I just wanted to congratulate for your commendation. Keep up the good work, as you did before on the Shenzhou.” Georgiou tries her best to sound sincere keeping her voice rich and warm.

“Agh. Thank you, Captain! And it is good to see you again.” Detmer quickly adds with a beaming smile.

Georgiou just nods and heads back to the direction of the ready room.

Pike smiles at the antiques of the serene Captain, and how Detmer can barely hold her excitement. Saru and Michael exchange a silent communication of disbelief. Georgiou looks at them, tilts her head as if asking what is their problem, then steps into the ready room. Michael and Saru both purse their lips and follow her in suit.

After four hours of discussion and strategic planning, Pike decides that their work for the day is done.

“So, I believe this is everything we could do for today. We know our next location to investigate. Mr. Saru, instruct the bridge crew of our new target. Burnham, show Captain Georgiou to her quarters. I’ll still have to contact the Enterprise to inform them about our route.”

“Aye, Captain.” assents Saru and Michael at the same time.

Saru takes back the Captain’s chair on the bridge while commanding the team to their new location. In the meantime, he also sends an encrypted message to Tilly about the Emperor’s presence. It is best she learns it this way, rather than running into her accidentally. Besides, it is all hands-on deck for those who know the real identity of Georgiou. They don’t need another Qo’noS to happen.

As Michael and Georgiou step into the turbolift, Michael quickly turns to the Emperor.

“What was that with Detmer?” asks a bewildered Michael.

“What did it look like? A previous Captain known for her compassion and mentoring abilities, stroking the ego of her former crew member.” answers the Emperor plainly not even looking at Michael. “Or was it too much?” asks Georgiou finally glancing in Michael’s way.

Michael stares at her, then she turns away in thought.

“No, it wasn’t too much. That was… I guess I didn’t expect that from you, considering your last time aboard this ship.” concedes Michael. Before she could ask another question the door of the lift opens.

“This way.” Michael indicates. “The quarter was prepared before you arrived and by luck you’ll be residing in your previous room.” continues Michael as they arrive shortly at the Emperor’s quarter. She punches in a few codes and opens the door. As they enter and the door closes behind them Michael half expects the Emperor to attack her as she saunters into the centre of the room.

“Oh, home sweet home.” sneers Georgiou as she walks to the viewport of the room. Then turning to Burnham “Before you leave. I assume Tilly is still on board this ship, right?”

“Leave her alone.” growls Michael.

“You don’t have to be so defensive, I wouldn’t hurt her.” answers Georgiou coyly.

“You wouldn’t? Last time, you knocked her out. She was unconscious for a long while.” Michael raises her voice.

“Did she have any broken bones or suffered any long-lasting injuries?” comes the inquiry.

“No, no physical injuries, but …”

Georgiou cuts off Michael’s response, “Then she got a valuable lesson, no hurting involved.”

“You have a twisted sense in not hurting someone.” huffs Michael and practically runs to the door, before she says something she’ll regret. Georgiou is just standing at her spot, smiling at the outburst of emotions of Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy it so far.  
> Next one up on Sunday.


	4. Spread the word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping secrets

Michael hurries down the corridor in an attempt to find Tilly. In the whirl of her conflicting emotions she can’t see that someone is standing in front of her in order to stop her march and she runs into the person.

“Michael, what’s the matter?” Amanda asks in her soothing voice.

“Amanda. Sorry, I...” then Michael takes a deep breath to calm herself. “She is here.”

“Who?”

Michael looks around but the corridor is too filled with people to utter a name. “The person I lost sight of.” tries Michael to explain at the best way she could.

“That’s good news. One less thing to worry about.” Amanda tries to assuage the fears of Michael.

“Yes and no.” Michael massages her forehead. “She managed to rile me up in less than two minutes.”

“Look, she has had to learn how to get under people’s skin in her world. You just have to get to know her better to jab back, and she’ll will do it less.”

“You’re right. Again. Thank you!”

“I’m always right.” smiles Amanda.

“Weell, I wouldn’t go that far.” teases Michael.

“I would.” counters Amanda. “Are we still having dinner?”

“Oh, I forgot. Sorry. _She_ asked me to spend dinner with her and the Captain was there, so I couldn’t say no. But I’ll drop by before you turn in.”

“It’s okay. Now, I’ll be out of your hair.” and Amanda weaves Michael good bye.

* * *

Michael finds Tilly is the mess hall sitting at one of the tables in the corner. From her spot she can see everybody entering, just in case a certain Emperor wanders in.

“Tilly! Hi!” greets Michael Tilly.

“Hey. I guess one of your puzzles just got solved.” starts Tilly in a strained tone and she looks around like meerkat for a predator.

Burnham raises an eyebrow in inquiry.

“Captain Saru, was kind enough to inform me about her presence.”

Michael nods in understanding. “Good. Look, I’ve told her not to bother you. I promise I’ll do everything in my power that she’ll do so.”

“Thanks.” smirks Tilly. “And how are you feeling?”

“Me? You are the one with the shaking hands.”

“It’s just too much coffee.” laughs it Tilly off.

Michael smiles at Tilly “That is actually a pretty good excuse.”

“I know, and I came up with it in 10 seconds.” cheers Tilly painfully. “But seriously, I know that the two of you have a lot of issues. Actually, more than I could have thought a few days ago.”

Michael sighs. “I honestly don’t know. On the outside she plays a role of a good Starfleet officer, but once we’re alone, she is back to her old self. It is confusing, though I know which one of her presentation is real. I’ll have dinner with her tonight, maybe by tomorrow I’ll know more about where we stand.”

“Then I’ll ask tomorrow again.” smiles Tilly reassuringly.

“Thank you! You’re a really great friend.”

“Yeah-yeah. Anyways I made a program to analyse the new data coming in of the signals. I’m using all the processing power that we can, but the code is heavy. I’ll have some results in a few hours.”

“It’s good news. Would you just give it to Amanda? I’ll meet her later at night and she can pass it to me then.”

“Oh, yeah, because of your dinner.”

“Yes.”

“Sure, no problem. I’d rather run in with your mother, ugh foster mother. Now that I think about it, your state with you know who is quite confusing.”

“Just call Amanda by her name. And yes, I know. I mean I know a lot of people who’d grown up without a mother in their life and I sit here agonizing while I have / had like four. Maybe three and a half.”

Tilly chuckles at Burnham’s scowl and they continue chatting amicably.

* * *

The chime on Saru’s door sounds.

“Come in!” announces the Kelpien.

“Mr. Saru. I’d like to have a word with you.” starts Georgiou stepping into the quarter of Saru.

“Fine, but first let me tell you this. If you hurt Michael or anyone else on this crew for that matter, you’ll know the full capability of my kind’s strength.” warns Saru, his poise would intimidate anyone.

Anyone, but the Emperor. Georgiou smiles to herself, _he is good bait_. “Why does everybody think I’m here to hurt somebody?” asks Georgiou squinting at Saru.

“Because you’re very good at hurting people.” answers Saru to the initially rhetorical question flatly.

“That’s a fair assessment.” answers Georgiou with a smile.

“Why are you here?”

“I know that my counterpart left a family heirloom to Michael and that she gave it to you. I want you to give it back to her.”

“Let’s see, a) you don’t have the right to do so” begins Saru in anger, “and b) she is still not ready to accept it.” finishes with a sigh. “As you can see” and he motions around the room “I didn’t put it out on a display. I put it away for later when Michael can accept it without guilt and shame, as she is not to blame in Captain Georgiou’s death.” explains the Kelpien.

Georgiou looks at Saru in menace “A) according to Federation law it is MINE, so I give it to whom I want to.” she steps up to him, fingers pointing at his chest “B) where was this attitude of yours, when you blamed Burnham for Captain Georgiou’s death?”

Saru is stunned and fear decides to creep upon him at the anger welling up in the Emperor. “How do you know?” Saru’s voice falters.

“Michael told me.” says Georgiou her small frame still in Saru’s personal space. “I want to see it. The inheritance.” orders Georgiou.

Saru analyses the look on Georgiou, he decides that it is best if he complies to her wishes. He heads for his bed and slides the package containing Captain Georgiou’s telescope from under it. He opens the container and shows its treasure to the Emperor.  

“Satisfied?”

Georgiou furrows her brow. “It is not what I expected.” her hand reaches out to touch the object that her counterpart held in high esteem.

“Michael is an explorer by nature.” explains Saru ”This, is a fitting legacy.”

“I believe this comes with the message of her will, right?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“I’ve found an unsent letter to Michael from your Georgiou. I’d like to extend the previous will with it. And since the recorder accepts only my genetic signature, I’m the only one capable of modifying it.”

Saru looks at Georgiou disbelievingly.

“I won’t delete the previous message. I know how much it means to her.”

“How would you know?”

“I know that I would give everything for a message like that from my daughter. Or for the one that I have for that matter.”

Saru straightens himself out towering over Georgiou, in this moment he can sense honesty in her intentions. “I see.” Then he begins to tinker with the container.

“I’m handing you only the recorder. I expect it back without any damages.” Saru tries to maintain some sort of authority, but it is impossible against the Emperor.

“I’ll bring it back in an hour. I want you to give the package back to Michael after I leave or I won’t make an excuse in wanting a Kelpien soup.” growls the Emperor, the lethal warning clear in her voice.

Saru gulps and his threat ganglia show his evident fear. “Message received.”

“Good.” accepts the Emperor and heads for the door. Before pushing the button, she looks back at Saru “And not a word to Michael.”

Saru nods in acceptance.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens. Who am I kidding? Is there even a plot? Dunno. Still haven't finished it yet, but I'm definitely on it.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading it! :)  
> And kudos for those who left kudos!


	5. Rocky start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could go wrong during a dinner?

“Enter.” commands the Emperor.

“I’m here.” states Burnham unsteadily to Georgiou.

“My eyesight has not waned when we crossed universes.” comes a dry reply. “Here, have a seat. Since this ship doesn’t have a chef at the crew’s disposal, I’ve replicated everything.” and Georgiou motions for Burnham to sit.

They both take their respective places, similarly to their dinner on the Charon, Michael sits by the left of Georgiou. Michael’s eyes sweep through the various meals in suspicion while Georgiou watches her expression in amusement.

“You don’t have to be vary, nothing you can see here is from something you’d consider inappropriate. Let’s try the soup first.”

They begin to eat in silence. Michael wonders about the goals of the Emperor. Surely, she did invite her for this dinner with something to achieve. But it seems Georgiou not wishes to talk. Yet. Michael’s mind wanders about the possibilities of a hidden agenda. She looks around with a keener eye of the interior of the room. Nothing has changed. There are a few candles lit, most likely for their dinner. Aside the lavish dishes nothing is left lying around, even Georgiou’s luggage is stored away from prying eyes. As they finish the soup, Georgiou pulls away Burnham’s plate and puts another in front of her with the main dish. Nothing is amiss. Perhaps that’s the problem. _Why hasn’t she said a word yet?_ It drives her crazy.

Michael puts her utensils down on the table a little more forcefully than indented. “Okay. What do you want? Why have you invited me for a dinner if you don’t want to talk?” the questions burst out from Burnham.

Georgiou grins, not just a simple smile, she even tries to stifle a laugh.

“What?”

“Oh, you held out far longer than I expected.” answers Georgiou in amusement.

“You stayed in silence all this long, to see me when will I crack?”

“Yes.” triumphs Georgiou, a smile still in place on her visage.

“I can’t believe it.” Michael shakes her head unbelievingly.

“You are easy to rile up, and a fun thing to do as well.”

“You’re impossible!” exclaims Michael. She is way too angry at this to be able to stay seated in one place. Michael quickly stands up and begins to pace around the room.

“You vanish, not respond to my letter in time, I was up for nights wondering what could’ve happened to you, and when you suddenly turn up, all you do is dance on my nerves.” words filled with emotion leave Michael’s mouth.

“Michael, stop pacing and sit down.” admonishes Georgiou while looking up at Michael.

“But …” Burnham tries to interject.

“Sit!”

Michael shuts her mouth and sits back grudgingly to the table. Georgiou puts a hand on her arm to pick up her attention.

“Eat.”

Michael picks up the utensils but she is still to defiant to eat.

“Look, I didn’t reply because I knew Discovery will be assigned to this task, and then I could surprise you.” explains Georgiou. Michael just stares at her. Her voice, her eyes, her whole demeanour shows sincerity. _But why play the element of surprise?_ She sighs and starts eating again.

At her silent acceptance of her excuse, Georgiou take a sip of her wine. Just as she’d start talking to Michael her chime sounds.

“Have you told someone to look for you here?” asks Georgiou.

“No.”

Georgiou’s hand grips her knife strongly, expecting an unwelcomed intruder as she utters the word Enter.

As the door opens, Amanda’s form appears from the blinding light of the corridor. Amanda looks at them surprised by her appearance. With a quick glace she notices how Michael’s jaw is tense and the way Georgiou hold the knife could be life threating.

“Amanda, what are you doing here?” asks Michael while she slightly kicks the Emperor under the table to release her grip on the knife. Georgiou tilts her head at Michael questioningly.

“Tilly gave me this PADD with some results to give to you, but since I was already on this corridor, I thought I’d just drop by.”

Michael hangs her head and shakes it. Subtle move, really subtle.

“Thank you!” and Michael reaches across the table for the PADD. “Ah, Emperor, may I introduce you to Amanda, my foster mother.” explains Michael with a heavy sigh.

“Hi!” and Amanda extends her hand for a hand shake towards Georgiou, but she doesn’t make a move to accept the gesture, the knife in her hand is still steady. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Michael,” continues Amanda while withdrawing her hand with a frown on her face, “I knew Captain Georgiou as well.” Georgiou eyes her suspiciously, then turns to Michael. “You’ve told her.”

“I did. Well, Sarek and I did. We thought that eventually Amanda would try to contact you, so we told her the truth about you.”

“Why would she contact me?” inquires Georgiou Michael ignoring Amanda’s presence.

“As Michael worked under Captain Georgiou she became a co-parent of sorts.” starts Amanda.

“Excuse me?” exclaims Michael.

“After your first week on the Shenzhou, when we talked you showed more human emotion in those 5 minutes than in the last month you spent on Vulcan.” Amanda smiles at the memory.

“So, I contacted her, and praised her ways of chipping away your Vulcan shell. I’d sent her presents every year after that in a form of a thank you.” Michael listens intently. “I’d just assumed you just knew each other from a diplomatic gathering and that’s how you became friends.”

Amanda sighs. “No, I’ve never met her in person.”

“I don’t understand why you’d considered her as a co-parent.”

“While you were intent on pleasing Sarek, becoming the perfect Vulcan you thought he wanted you to be, I’ve tried my hardest to keep your human side, but you never listened to me. You always knew better. I was just your mother who couldn’t have known what’s best for you. But Philippa, you respected her and unbeknownst to you, she reached you in ways I couldn’t. That’s why I would’ve contacted Georgiou again after her resurfacing.”

After the last sentence a sudden silence fills the room, then a laugh, Georgiou’s.

“Oh, and here I thought I was a bad mother and that’s why my Michael never listened to me. It is most likely you’re truly built that way. Opposing mothers and trying to exceed the expectations of a father figure is really in your nature.” exclaims Georgiou.

“It looks like it.” mumbles Michael under her nose.

 “Anyway, I’m sorry that I’d interrupted your dinner. I’ll be on my way. It was nice to meet you.” announces Amanda and takes her leave.

“Amanda, wait!” shouts Michael and she runs after her. As Burnham leaves the room, Georgiou releases a deep sigh and shakes her head. So much for talking with Michael.

“Amanda!”

“Sweetie, what’s the problem?” At the frowning look that Michael gives her, she continues. “Look, I was just feeling adventurous and wanted to meet her.”

“She is dangerous.”

“Not to me, she isn’t. You just go back. I felt that there is still a lot of unresolved issues between the two of you. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“But I’d thought …”

“No.” Amanda cups gently Michael’s cheek. “You’re my daughter and you regard me as your mother, that is for certain. We don’t have issues. But your connection with Georgiou, that needs some work from the both of you, whether you wish to severe your connection, or give meaning to it. Personally, I would sleep better knowing that there is someone other out here, especially with her skills, looking out for you, caring for you, since I’m usually on Vulcan and I’m not trained to fight.”

Michael nods in understanding. The night is still young, and Amanda is right - again – the Emperor and her have a lot to discuss. Amanda smiles and heads for her room leaving Michael to decide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keeping up with the story! :) Hope you're still entertained.
> 
> a) ending figured out  
> b) I'm 75% disregarding the new trailer because I'd have to rewrite a few things, but some fits perfectly  
> c) double post, because otherwise I won't finish it by January 17.


	6. Clearing up the battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to break something before fixing it

Georgiou stands by her viewport, whiskey in hand – she needed a stronger drink – when her chime announces a visitor. She closes her eyes to calm herself and turns toward the door. “Enter.”

To her surprise it is Michael. _Not everything is lost after all_. “I’m sorry that I ran away. I had to talk to her.”

“You came back.” states Georgiou.

“I did. Shall we continue our dinner?” tries Michael and she slowly saunters to her chair. At Georgiou’s nod, Michael smiles to herself and waits for Georgiou to return to the table before sitting down.

“So, what are you doing out here?” asks Michael.

In response Georgiou pulls out a black Starfleet badge to show it to Burnham.

“What is this about with the black badges? I’ve seen them before, when I was brought on board the Discovery, but the men wearing them vanished.”

“Not vanished. Relocated. As soon as Discovery had a working drive, their purpose was fulfilled and they were needed elsewhere.”

“What were they doing? And who are _They_?”

“I’m not supposed to talk to you about this, but given our history I’ll make an exception. And because I know some secrets are not easy keep, you can tell it to one other person, I advise the Kelpien. He looks like someone who can keep his mouth shut.” starts Georgiou, then takes a sip of her whiskey. “First, you must understand that these people are working behind the shadows, and they’d do anything to stay in the dark.”

Michael stays quiet. She is intrigued. This is definitely an organization that would’ve picked up the interest of the Emperor. Georgiou waits for a signal from her to continue after stating her conditions. Michael nods in acceptance.

“The organisation is called Section 31. Officially there is no such thing as Section 31. They are a clandestine faction of the Federation, who report to no one. Their goal is to keep the Federation – and more importantly humans – safe, by using whatever means necessary.”

“I’ve heard that notion before.” Michael interjects, Georgiou looks at her in surprise. “From whom?”

“Lorca.” answers Michael. “When he brought me here, he said that Starfleet has given him discretion to fight the war however he saw fit, using whatever he wanted, to win.”

Georgiou nods “Section 31 invested in the spore drive technology, that’s why some of their men were aboard Discovery, and yes, Lorca was working for them aside his assignments from Starfleet.”

“And now you’re working for them as well?”

“They invited me, not the Captain, but Emperor Georgiou. They knew exactly who I was and offered me a position far better than sitting in a bar on Qo’nos.”

“You could be living a normal life anywhere in the Federation, hell you could be even teaching at the Academy if you would want to.”

“Do I look like the teacher kind to you? No offense, but if I’d be at the Academy I’d have to keep up your Captain’s personality all the time, and what a boring life that would be. I was an Emperor, I led battles frequently, not just from the throne but on the field as well. I’d hunted down non-humans for the stability of the Empire, and sometimes for sport.” Georgiou sighs. “There is no place within the Federation where I would want to live. Section 31 at least provides some excitement, and I have my independence as well. I can be who I really am most of the time, and not pretend someone I could never be.” Michael listens in silence. She can hear the sincere emotions behind the blank face of Georgiou, she didn’t think that living would actually be this hard on her. “And since by nature it is a dangerous job, there is a high chance that I could finally die the way I want to.”

“Please, stop talking like that.” says Michael quietly.

“Why? Your Captain got the death she’d wanted, to die for her principles in defence of the Federation. Why couldn’t you let me die for the same reasons?” asks angrily Georgiou.

Michael slams on the table “I didn’t let her die.” grits the sentence through her teeth, trying hard not to cry. “We fought the Klingons, they overwhelmed us, she died in an injury at instant!” by the end of her outburst Michael’s tears flow down her cheeks. In the months following the Battle of the binary stars she’d replayed that scene before in her mind countless times but it doesn’t get easier and now, she feels as she’d been teleported back to that moment reliving the pain again. “I’d tried to reach her, I asked Saru to transport her back, but the transporters on the Shenzhou were not capable to lock on her without a lifesign. Had Saru waited for another 3 seconds I could’ve brought her back.”

“Could you have saved her?”

“No, I don’t think so, no with the Shenzhou in shambles.” Michael hangs her head in shame. “The mek’leth went through her heart, she was beyond saving.”

“Then it wasn’t your fault.”

“It was.”

“You said that you were overwhelmed.”

“I…”

“Don’t feel guilty about something that was beyond your reach.”

Michael puts her head in her hands, fighting with her tears. After a minute she feels that the Emperor lays a gentle hand between her shoulder blades to sooth her. The touch is as calming as she’d received it from Amanda or from her Philippa. She takes a deep breath and manages to stop the flowing of tears. Michael looks up at Georgiou.

Before she could speak however Georgiou anticipates her need to talk and interjects. “However, you can feel guilty about bringing me here.”

“Not this again.” moans Michael.

“Yes, this again, until you finally understand. I had left nothing to live for, no Empire, no progeny. It was my destiny to die aboard the Charon fighting – like your Captain did - and you brought me here without my consent.” Georgiou sits up straight “Federation laws allow to choose our death.”

“What you wanted was an unnecessary suicide, there was ample time to not need self-sacrifice. If someone tries to end their life that way, we try to intervene to save that soul, to give them purpose, to see that they still have something to live for. So, no. I will never feel guilty about bringing you here, no matter how hard you try to make me.” says Michael in defiance.

“And pray tell me what do I have, that I can live for?” asks Georgiou.

Michael stares at her. It is a heavy question. All this long the Emperor was waiting for the perfect moment to ask her this question, Michael has no doubt about it. It was planned thoughtfully, to inflict the most when it was needed. Truth to be told Georgiou has a point. She joined Section 31 because she was bored and not because of some sense of patriotism. She is not at home, she knows no one that she could trust – aside from herself, if she even trusts her. She cannot be asked to live a life of someone else just because her presence is not convenient for the Federation. This begs the question, why is she so adamant to rub it in her face again? Why … _That’s it!_

“Why have you invited me to dinner?” asks Michael, trying to hold back a triumphant smile.

“That what’s your Captain Georgiou would’ve done. Why can’t you just answer my question?”

“I’m getting to it. Last time you weren’t keen on keeping up the façade of being Captain Georgiou. What changed?”

“I didn’t really expect to live for long, it didn’t matter then.”

“Why does it matter now?”

“Because it seems that I’ll be here for longer than I’d anticipated, and her name still carries weight that I can only use if I don’t smear it with my shenanigans.”

“Again, why have you invited me to dinner? We both know that yes, inviting me would never raise an eyebrow, but we also know that it wasn’t necessary either.” pushes Michael Georgiou. Two can play this game.

Georgiou stands up hastily and again heads for the viewport, her recluse when she has nowhere to run it seems. She has her back to Michael which speak of volumes, there is nobody else to whom she’d turned her back for this long, when she is in such a state. Her mind boils. She admitted once her greatest weakness, she vowed never to do so again.

Without turning back to Michael, she poses another question.

“Why do you think that you’re the epicentre of everything?”

“Excuse me?” at that Michael turns around in her seat to look at Georgiou but she is still looking outside.

“You’ve heard it right. Why haven’t I answered to YOUR letter? Why have I invited YOU? You, you, you.” mocks Georgiou.

Michael feels a headache creeping up at her.

“This is ridiculous! I’ve had enough of this!” and Michael stands up hastily and walks toward the door. Just before she opens it, she turns back. “I won’t compromise your identity, I’ll be as civil to you as expected by others, in turn, I’ll expect you to behave the same.” says angrily and Michael rushes out from the room.

A shudder runs through Georgiou. _Congratulations, you fu**ed up again!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a chance that the next one will be up in a few days. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Section 31 is a secret organisation and it will stay one in this story - for those who know what I'm rambling about.


	7. Surprise visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interlude of sorts

“Good morning everybody!” announces her presence Georgiou on the bridge and purposefully walks to Captain Pike, Burnham and Saru train their eyes on her. When she makes eye contact with Burnham, she nods to her in welcome.

“Captain Georgiou, is there a problem?”

“No, but I’ve received word about our target region and I wanted to inform you about it.” says Georgiou PADD in hand.

“Well then by all means! Please follow me to the ready room.” says Pike. “Mr. Saru, you have the bridge.” orders Pike.

As the door closes behind them Pike regards Georgiou “You don’t look happy about the information.”

“A Miranda-class science ship the U.S.S. Dornager went missing in this region. I would say chances are high that we will find it there.” starts Georgiou handing the PADD over to Pike.

“And what was this ship doing out here?”

“Surveying. Gathering data from the nearby pulsar. If we’re lucky the Dornager’s sensor array could still be working or at least store a vast amount of data on the phenomenon.”

“If it is not crushed like bug.” concludes Pike.

“It isn’t.”

“How do you know?” asks Pike suspiciously.

“What you can’t see in those files is that the ship still emits automated emergency signals, just not on the usual channel, and it is encrypted.”

Pike huffs “Encrypted? Why would they send out encrypted emergency signals? What was their real objective, Captain?”

“I cannot answer to that question.” states Georgiou firmly. “My inquiry was denied.” an obvious lie.

“And I wager you’d like to visit the wreckage personally?” asks Pike.

“Correct.”

“Fine. Give me the coordinates.” caves Pike and leaves the ready room while Georgiou follows him.

“Commander Burnham!” alerts Michael Pike.

Michael turns to him but her eyes also wander to the person behind him. “Gather a small away team, tomorrow as soon as we arrive on scene, you’ll board a presumably dangerous ship wreckage. Your mission is to gather all the sensor, survey and science data available from the ship’s data core.”

“Understood, sir.” affirms Burnham.

“And Captain Georgiou will accompany you.” inserts Pike looking to his left where Georgiou stands.

“Most likely we will need skilled computer technicians to gather the cores as soon as possible.” emphasises Georgiou.

“Aye, I’ll put together a team immediately.”

“Good. One other thing. How are we on the latest incoming data?” asks Georgiou.

“Compilation is almost done, it will be available in an hour. Why do you ask?”

“I’ve noticed something familiar in it but I just couldn’t figure out what. Thank you, then, I guess I’ll see you in the morning, Commander.” says Georgiou with a hint of a warm smile, she nods to Pike and heads to the turbolift.

Pike watches Georgiou leaving the bridge confidently. On her way, Saru is standing a mere foot from her but she doesn’t even look at him. _Strange,_ thinks Pike.

 

* * *

 

“Interesting engineering you’ve got here Lieutenant Stamets.” says Georgiou sauntering in. Tilly abruptly looks up in fear and she tries to position herself behind Stamets suddenly very intensely working on something on the terminal. Stamets can only see the blur of red as Tilly almost runs into him, but he must adhere to the Captain first.

“Captain Georgiou, it is an honour finally meeting you.” starts Stamets walking up to Georgiou. “Is there anything I can help you with? Nobody told me that you’d be visiting here.”

“I’m looking for Commander Burnham, I was told she is here.”

“Ah yes, I call her, she is in an attached lab.” answers Stamets and he looks back at Tilly in vary who is still making herself look busy. “I’ll be back in a minute. Please, don’t touch anything, Captain.”

Georgiou smirks at Stamets, he is just like a copy of her late engineer. Same self-absorbed attitude.

Michael all but runs to where Georgiou stands nearby to a console seemingly studying its read out. “Captain?” asks Burham in a hushed tone.

“I was looking for you because I figured out the pattern, I’ve told you before.”

“You did what?” asks Michael, Stamets and Tilly at the same time. Stamets looks back at Tilly in surprise of her outburst, but he also couldn’t help but notice how Tilly shakes like a dried leaf.

Georgiou smiles. “I’ve seen a lot of this galaxy, sometimes twice as over, it should come in handy. The pattern is a numeral pattern.”

“We were also working on that, but nothing came up.” offers Michael.

“Have you tried the vigesimal system?”

“In all numeral systems the signal is almost random.”

“The numbers are letters, they are spelling out a message. It could look like random, especially with a large character set in a language you don’t know about.”

“Tilly.” looks Michael back at the Ensign. “On it, encoding.” Tilly tries to switch her brain to work, but her uneasiness is still translated to her voice. “Assuming that the letters or symbols are coded with a 20-digit pattern then I can identify at least 100 different symbols. But without knowing what they mean we’re still stuck. We need a dictionary to decipher it.”

“I know a small fraction.” says Georgiou and she hands a PADD over to Michael “These icosahedron objects were found on an archaeological dig in a nearby sector few years ago. Nobody knows their origin. It is believed that the pictures correlate to the symbols on them. Maybe you can put some sense into it.”

“Thank you.” replies Michael in earnest and hands the PADD over to Tilly. “How did you spot it?”

“Scientists tried to equate the symbols to sound, the data we gather has a similar rhythm.” says Georgiou and she leaves the stunned motley crew behind.

 

* * *

 

Georgiou sets to go out of her quarters but just as she’d opened the door, she finds herself standing almost toe-to-toe with Pike. “Captain Pike, to what do I owe you the pleasure for visiting?” ask Georgiou and motions for the Captain to come inside.

Pike slowly walks in, hands behind his back, his expression is pensive “I’ve a question. I understand if you’d be reluctant to answer. In fact, you don’t even have to answer.”  

“That doesn’t sound like a good start.” replies Georgiou, her stance mirroring Pike’s.

“Yeah, I know, I was thinking for a long time to even ask.”

“Well, you’re here.”

Pike locks his gaze with Georgiou to be prepared to assess her reaction “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re acting with Commander Burnham as if nothing had happened – if the rumours are true – but you dismiss Mr. Saru. He, who you’d personally brought to the Federation, who had grown up to the person he is under your wings. Why is that?”

Georgiou keeps her face schooled, she knows that Pike is looking for something. “I have my reasons.” starts Georgiou “But I can tell you this. Michael mutinied against me because she believed that she’d have prevent a war and save countless lives, Saru didn’t listen to Michael when he transported her back to the Shenzhou without me, because he feared that he would be reprimanded should something were to happen to her.” her words sound clipped to Pike, like she is holding back her anger. “All that time he spent on the Shenzhou learning to be a good Federation officer, and in the end his fear for his own self-preservation prevailed.” Georgiou says in a disgusted tone. She stays silent for a few seconds for an added effect. “That is all I’m willing to say on this matter.” finishes Georgiou.

Pike stares at her, unable to see behind the well-crafted mask Georgiou wears “I see. I think I can understand. Thank you, for sharing it with me. I’m sorry I’ve bothered you with this.” says Pike and he leaves the room as he came.

Georgiou shakes her head and again she walks out of her room with an exact destination in her mind.

 

* * *

 

“Come in.” sounds the warm tone of Amanda.

Georgiou steps in to a room similar to hers, but just the placement of assorted lighting fixtures and different decoration fills the room with light and warmth.

Amanda waits with her greeting until the door is closed. “Emperor. Can’t say I’m surprised by your visit. Here, take a seat.” gestures Amanda, but the Emperor remains in her spot quietly studying her.

“I assume you came here for a reason.” says Amanda sitting down on the sofa. She understands Georgiou’s stance, she’s trying to be intimidating but Amanda’s goal is to defuse the hostility.

“I did.” Georgiou nods and she slowly, primly begins to walk toward Amanda. When she still can’t see a frightened expression on her, she voices her confusion. “You’re not afraid of me.”

“Why would I be?” replies Amanda.

“Had the situation be reversed and we’d be in my universe, you wouldn’t be alive.” states Georgiou a matter of fact.

“Yes, that should concern me, but we’re in the Federation now and we both know that hurting me would hurt Michael. She would be alienating herself from you. And you don’t want that.” emphasising every word in her last sentence.

Georgiou furrows her brows and she makes a quick step to Amanda in an attempt to startle her. “Don’t be so sure about that.” says Georgiou slowly.

Amanda decides that she has to take up the mantle, and she stands to face Georgiou. “Then why am I still alive?” asks Amanda in a dare leaning closer to Georgiou, but she before could get an answer she might regret, she hastily adds “I’m not using this as an advantage over you and I don’t intend to use it against you, since we know it goes both ways. It just helps me sleep better. And if it makes you feel any better, Michael is still concerned about my safety around you.”

Georgiou steps back. This woman obviously without any fight training has more courage than most, but she also doesn’t seem to have any foul bone in her. _It explains the stupid naivety and softness of Burnham._ Her curiosity is sated, but she makes no other move.

Amanda takes this as a cue that she’s still allowed to talk. “I’ve heard that the two of you had a disagreement. I’ve told Michael that I’ll support whatever she decides about you, but otherwise I’ll will stay out of it.”

“And if you’d have a word in it?”

“I’d rather have you as an ally.” answers Amanda.

Georgiou nods and heads back to her room.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what your thoughts are, they are highly appreciated!


	8. Shadows are there for a reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no bad weather just inappropriate clothing. Unless there is a hurricane, you cannot dress well enough for a hurricane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to up the rating just to be on the safe side - it will also come in handy for a scene here and there later on.

“Discovery, do you read me? We need immediate evacuation! This place is falling apart!” shouts Michael into her radio, through her suit.

“This is Discovery. The interference is too high, we can’t get a lock on you. Can you move farther away from the core?” asks Saru.

“Our previous way just got blocked by debris. I can see one open corridor but I have no idea where does it lead.”

“Considering your position, the core is to your south, any direction heading away from it, should be better than your current one.”

“OK, we’ll go. Philippa! This way.” Michael motions for Georgiou.

They run through a corridor, light debris falling on them.

“We need to get out of here!” yells Georgiou.

“Really? Aren’t you enjoying the scenery?” asks Michael out of breath.

“I prefer watching a destruction of a ship from the outside, not from the inside.”

The corridor ends in a tall storage room, and it looks like the end of their path, no other corridors to go to.

“Saru is this better? ‘Cause this is the farthest we can go.”

“Better, but we still have problems, hold out, we try to manoeuvre as close as we can.”

A loud crack above them signals an impending danger, they both look up in awareness.

“That roof will not hold for long.” announces Georgiou.

“Saru? Now, would be a preferable time to get us out.”

“90 seconds.”

“I’m not sure this place will stay in one piece for that long.” worries Michael. Then crash. A large piece of the metal holding the place together falls on them. Michael who was talking to Saru is not aware where the debris will likely to fall, while Georgiou kept her eyes on the roof the whole time, so she tackles Michael to the ground before the metal could kill her.

“Philippa!” shouts Michael through her comm. Georgiou lies on her unmoving.

“Saru! Georgiou is down, she needs medical attention now!”

“Philippa!” tries Michael again, but there is no response, Georgiou lies slack. The frame hit them off their feet and she got the brunt of it, Michael analyses the situation. She can see blood on the visor of the helmet, probably as her head hit it. She must’ve suffered a concussion. According to her suit’s readings, her life signs are still there though on the verge of critical.

“We’ve got a lock on you.” announces Saru.

“Transport both of us to sickbay.” orders Michael holding onto Georgiou.

As they materialize in the sickbay a medical team is already helping them out of their suits.

“Leave me! I’m okay. Help her!” Michael pushes the nurse away, who tries to help her.

As medics peels off the layers of Georgiou’s suit, Michael can see that the back of Georgiou’s helmet is crashed, she was lucky enough that there was no leak. Michael is in shock, automatically she steps out of the way from the floor of the sickbay, to sit on one of the empty beds on the other side. All she can see is a flurry of white as medics try to stabilise Georgiou while blood seeps out to the cushion behind Georgiou’s head.

“What happened?” asks a concerned Captain Pike, who just arrived to the sickbay.

Michael can only stare at the scene unfolding in front of her.

“Get her to the operating room!” orders Doctor Pollard.

“What’s happening?” jumps Michael from the bed, her space suit still on her.

“She has an intercranial bleeding. We must stop it before it causes more damage.” explains shortly the Doctor, as she heads to the operating room.

Michael feels the world crashing down on her. She grabs one of the beds for support. Then she registers the unexpected support coming under her arms.

“Commander, sit.” says Pike. “And get out of this suit!”

Michael blinks, not able to formulate a word. “Commander!” Pike’s voice wakes her from her reverie. “Suit off!” Michael nods, and Pike can see that this time he managed to burst through the bubble. She sheds her suit while Pike helps her putting it on another bed. After she is finished, Pike questions her again, this time a bit gentler.

“What happened Commander?”

Michael looks up at him and tries to report “A debris got unattached from the ceiling, she shoved me off the way, but it caught her. I’d be dead otherwise.”

“I see. Get yourself checked out by the doctors, then go back to your quarter and change. You’re done for the day. The others will jump into analysing the data you’ve gathered.” orders Pike.

“Sir...”

“No arguing. You got her back, she is in good hands now.” says Pike understandingly. A silent tear runs away from Michael’s eye. “I’ll expect your full report by tomorrow noon. If I receive it today, I’ll put you on off duty for another 2 days, and I won’t let you to work on these signals. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Michael agrees without an argument, it is not like she could think about anything else but the accident right now. Maybe she could look into the transporter routines, she had enough of close calls for a lifetime with them.

Pike leaves Burnham in sickbay. He is really concerned. As far as he got to know the Commander, this behaviour is not normal for her. “Captain Pike to Ensign Tilly, report to my ready room.” announces Pike through the comm. “A … Aye sir.” replies Tilly in stutter. _What the Captain could want from HER? Oh gosh, I hope it is not Michael._ And with that she almost runs out of engineering.  

“Captain? Ensign Tilly reporting.” says Tilly timidly to the Captain as she stumbles through the ready room door.

“Is everything all right Ensign?” asks a concerned Pike.

“Yes, I came as fast I could. How may I be of service, sir?” answers Tilly, still a little out of breath adjusting her hair.

Pike measures her up, still deciding whether it is a good idea, to approach Tilly. But numerous sources of scuttlebutt say she and the Commander are really good friends, and when it comes to interpersonal relationships, scuttlebutt is usually the best source of information. “It came to my knowledge that you and Commander Burnham are good friends.” states Pike, clearly waiting for some sort of confirmation.

“Yes, sir. I hope it is not a problem?”

“No, but that’s why you are here.”

“Sir?”

“On the away mission, there was an accident …”

“Oh no, is Michael all right?”

“That’s the problem I’m facing with. Physically she’s 100%, mentally I’m not sure. Georgiou suffered a serious intercranial bleeding among other injuries, and I’m afraid that the accident triggered some old memories for Burnham. What I’m getting at is, that I’m asking you to look out for her a bit more closely than usual, even if she says she’s fine.”

“Oh, she says she’s fine ever since I’ve known her.” dismisses Tilly “She was closest to a real fine, when she was reinstated, for a glorious 5 days. Based on what you’ve told me, now she is about as fine as she was when she boarded Discovery the first time or when she received Captain Georgiou’s heritage.”

“That bad?”

“Don’t worry…Sir. She is strong, she’ll get through it. Mrs. Grayson is still here, and Michael’s relationship with Commander Saru is better than ever, so I would say, her emotional support is at full capacity. Thank you for telling me. If there is nothing else, I need to go back to Engineering. Lieutenant Stamets asked for an analysis that I must submit in 30 minutes.”

“That’s it, Ensign. Dismissed.” orders Pike in amusement. Ensign Tilly clearly still needs to develop some sense of formality when communicating with superiors.

On her way to the engineering Tilly cannot help herself and takes a stop at Michael’s quarter. She could always fall back on the Captain’s request should Stamets get angry.

“Hey, it’s me.” announces Tilly to the dark room. The only source of light is coming from the stars as the ship passes them by in warp.

“Hi, Tilly.” replies Michael in a sad tone somewhere from the inside.

“The Captain told me, that there was an accident during the away mission. I thought that I’ll just stop by quickly.” says Tilly still not moving from her spot at the door.

“Thanks Tilly. But I’m fine.”

“I didn’t know you were also a vampire. You know darkness is your friend.” notes Tilly, knowing perfectly that Michael is definitely not fine.

Michael snorts. “I just wanted some peace to myself until Doctor Pollard can tell me more about Philippa’s condition.”

“What happened Michael? From your mind’s perspective?” asks Tilly.

“What happened? Two days ago, she outright told me she hated me for stranding her here, and today she jumps on me to save my life. And all I could do was hold her as she was dying, and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it.” explains Michael, tears apparent in her voice. “And yeah, it reminded me being in a similar situation.”

Tilly slowly tries her way to Michael supposedly sitting on her bed but after clumsily dropping something from shelf as she tried to align herself, she stops. “Computer lights at 5%.” orders Tilly. Tilly can see Michael’s hunched form, sitting on the end of her bed, her head is buried between her hands, shoulders slightly shaking. She sits down next to Michael, but not makes any comment.

“The only thing that is in my mind right now, that what if she doesn’t make it? I’m not sure, I’d be able to bear to lose her twice. Even if she is not my Captain Georgiou.” admits Michael, still sobbing.

“I don’t think anybody could advise you on that. But know, that whatever happens, you’re not alone. We’re here to help you in any way.” assures Tilly.

“Thanks.” smiles Michael. “Honestly, it means a lot to me, Tilly.”

“Do you want me to stay for while?” asks Tilly.

“No.” Michael sits up, smearing her tears away with the back of her hands. “I guess all I needed is a good crying. Doctor Pollard should be finishing the surgery in about 15 minutes anyways. I must pick myself together.” says Michael confidently.

“Okay.” Tilly slaps her hands on her legs and stands. “Then I’ll stop by in the evening after shift.”

“See you then, Tilly.” waves Michael Tilly away.

As Tilly steps out of Michael’s room, she all but runs into Amanda.

“Oh, Mrs. Grayson! I’m sorry.”

“It is fine. And I’ve already told you to call me Amanda, Sylvia.”

Tilly nods in assent.

“How is she?”

“Not good. She said that Doctor Pollard should have some news on Georgiou in 15 minutes. I think it would be better if there would be someone else with her, when she gets the news.” says Tilly. “She was just heading to shower and change, before meeting with the Doctor.” explains Tilly further.

“I see. Then I know my mission parameters.” smiles Amanda and gives Tilly a mock salute. “Thank you, Sylvia! Now, I believe I saw an angry Lieutenant Stamets on one of the corridors looking for a certain Ensign.”

“Shoot. I forgot. Yeah, I’ll just head back to Engineering before he bites my head off.”  

* * *

 

“Doctor Pollard to Commander Burnham. Please come to the sickbay.”

“I’m on my way Doctor.” Michael takes in deep breath and steps out of her room. Amanda is leaning against the wall opposite her door looking exactly at her.

“Hi, Michael!”

“Amanda? What … why … were you waiting for me?”

“Yeah, a little robin told me, what you’re up against and I’ve decided to tag along. I hope you don’t mind.”

Michael’s shoulders sag, tension slightly leaving her body “No, of course not. I think I need the support.” admits Michael.

“Then what are we waiting for?” asks Amanda as she almost drags Michael with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keeping up with the story!
> 
> The next chapter will be posted in 1-2 days, it just needs a minor fine tuning.


	9. Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When in amidst of darkness, you’ll only need a little guiding light to follow.

“Ah, Commander and Mrs. Grayson!” invites Doctor Pollard the visitors in to the back of the sickbay. As they walk in, Michael cannot help but notice the prone form of Georgiou lying on one of the beds, the computers following her life signs reassuringly beep. Pike is already waiting for them, nodding to Michael and Amanda. 

“I’ll start with the generals, then I’ll go into details only with the Commander as she is named as the medical proxy for Captain Georgiou.” explains Pollard.  “There are some specifics that fall into the doctor-patient confidentiality and they won’t be in the open medical records. I just wanted to clear that beforehand. May I continue?”

“By all means, yes.” answers Burnham, her voice is tight. Despite the good rhythm of Georgiou’s heart monitor, this confidentiality issue raises a flag in her. She knows that the brain is a tricky organ, during her service she’d her share of crew emergencies to think of the worst in this scenario. Amanda senses Michael’s stress, so she reaches toward Michael. She knows she’d object an open display of affection, so the best she could do is to lay a gentle hand on the back of Michael, to let her know she’s still there to catch her should she need it.

“We managed to stop the intercranial bleeding, but there is still a lot of swelling to say we’re out of the woods. She’ll be kept here under coma, until tomorrow. We expect the majority of the swelling to go down by that time. From the scans we can tell, that there is nothing which would indicate serious brain damage. But with brain injuries we can only tell with certainty when the patient is awake.” the Doctor finishes some of her report, expecting questions.

While Michael is trying to process what the Doctor said, Pike asks “So, if I understand it right, it is possible that she’d be back to 100%, right?”

“Yes, if there are no complications. If everything is as it looks on the scans, she’ll be fit for duty in a week at worst.”

_What’s the catch then_ , ponders Michael.

“That’s good news.” says Amanda.

“Doctor, what do you expect tomorrow?” asks finally Michael.

“If all goes well, then that is going to be a critical point. When she’s awake we must assess her nerve functions, and her memory.” says Pollard. _Ah, that’s the catch_ , thinks Michael.

“And what do you assume?”

“The scans already showed some damage to her optical nerves due to the swelling, though it is nothing we cannot repair, but the swelling must be reduced beforehand. It will take about a day before we can begin treating it. Aside her vision impairment, people suffering this type of injury could have some sort of hearing problems as well. Her cochlear bones are not broken, but the swelling still could cause a temporary 20-50% loss in hearing. Her eyes also have some pressure damage from the hit, so even if I believe that she would be able to see lights and shadows, I’d like to keep her eyes bandaged for a day or two to not strain it.”

“And her memory?”

“I’m confident that there shouldn’t be any major problems. However, waking up after a severe concussion like this, initially her mind could be a bit jumbled.”

Michael nods in response, her mind already treading too fast with the information about Georgiou’s injuries.

“Thank you Doctor for your report, I’ll sleep better after hearing this.” Pike tries to ease the tension. “Is there anything else that I need to know?”

“Yes, there is.” Michael looks at Pollard. “Captain Georgiou will require an aid at least in the first two days. Given her history, I think she’d most comfortable with Commander Burnham in her state.”

Pike nods understandingly and he turns to Michael. “Commander, do as you see best. I know you won’t be slacking watching holovids all day anyways.”

“Thank you, Captain.” says Michael.

Pollard then looks at the Captain silently indicating that she’d like to speak with Burnham alone.  

“Well then, Doctor, keep me updated.” Pike says and he slowly walks out but stops just outside of the sickbay.

Amanda turns to Michael “I’ll be upside, Michael. Take your time.”

“Doctor? Is there more?” inquires Michael after she is sure that everyone is out of earshot.

“Commander you’re aware that I know about Captain Georgiou’s real identity.” Michael nods in assent. “On one hand, even if it would be another human, then I would bandage her eyes, but the Terran eye has slightly different healing capabilities, that’s why it is imperative that the bandage stays on for about two days. Then she can be slowly adjusted to light incrementally.”

“I understand.”

“She also had some minor broken bones and bruises, lacerations on her head. We healed most of it, but her body will be sore, she’ll have to take it easy in the next couple of days. The second most problematic part that I’m worried about however would be her brain functions. Despite the scans show no major injury, because of the way her head hit the helmet, her prefrontal cortex could have some damage as is her cerebellum.”

“So, memory and motor functions problems, right?”

“Yes, Commander. I’ll assess her primary motor functions when she is awakened, but you’ll have to keep an eye on her. If there is something amiss with her movement or if she is experiencing headaches or anything you find unusual, you must report it immediately. Concerning her memory, you’re the one who knows the most about her Terran life, so you must be here when I do the assessment. And if she has problems remembering I advise first to play along.”

“Of course. The way I see it the immediate problem will be, when she wakes up blind, half deaf and disoriented from the concussion, she’ll most definitely put up a fight. Helping her around won’t be a problem, her accepting it will be.”

“Well, physically fighting patients is not in my resume. Perhaps we could tie her down, but I assume that could be just oil to the fire.”

“I will be, but I see no other choice. I would recommend a privacy screen, so nobody would be able to hear or see us. We put restraints only on her legs beneath the covers. I’ve seen her fight and I wouldn’t want to be in their way. Then I think I’ll be able to convince her to stop, no matter what state her memory will be, so she could be released.”

“All right, we can do that.”

“Doctor, how long must she stay in sickbay? After she is awakened I mean.”

“Only until I assess her condition. She’ll need to spend the next few days in her quarters recuperating. Since she’ll be blind, she’ll need help even getting around in the room. Not to mention any other amenities. You’ll also have to administer some medicine at regular intervals.”  

“I’ll be there, that is without question.” assures Michael, then a memory flashes up in her and she allows herself a small smile. “It wouldn’t even be the first time. Captain Georgiou once had a nerve injury in her back, she needed some help getting around. I’ve never seen her complaining or being irritated in all those years, but she was outright grumpy for 3 days. After the first day everybody just tried to be out of her hair, Saru and I even managed not to argue with each other.”

“At least the you already have some practice with uncooperative patients, like yourself.” smiles Pollard.

Michael smiles at the insinuation. “When do you want to wake her up tomorrow, Doctor?”

“Before there is too much bustling around, so at about 6:30 am.”

“Acknowledged. I’ll prepare everything. Thank you, Doctor!”

“Just doing my job, Commander.” Pollard smiles at Burnham. “And before you ask, between now and tomorrow 6:30 am you can visit her anytime.”

Michael smiles at the woman and nods gratefully. She walks up to Georgiou’s bed. She allows herself the luxury to take her time studying Georgiou’s appearance and her vitals. She checks the medical logs and takes notes on the other minor injuries listed in the patient file. The monitor shows nothing that looks out of normal ranges, and Georgiou looks like she’s just sleeping. At least she is not frowning. A lose lock of hair lies across Georgiou’s face. Michael gently puts it behind Philippa’s ear where it belongs. _Guess you’ll be stuck with me for a while –_ muses Michael. A sudden wave of relief floods Michael making her go weak in the knees. She pulls a chair beside the bed to sit on it, but her attention never leaves Georgiou.

 

* * *

Amanda is waiting patiently outside. She watches as Michael’s face turns serious, even calculating while talking to Doctor Pollard, and wonders what other difficulties her daughter will have to face. As Michael stands by Georgiou’s bed, she looks at her in wonder at the emotions she is conveying just by standing and analysing the features of the mother she’ lost and gained. She dares not to think about what would happen if she, herself would be lying on that bed. But she is marvelling at how much Michael has changed, from the stoic Vulcan to the feeling human being, and her heart leaps in joy at the transformation. Her only regret is that the path leading up was filled with too much tragedy.

Unbeknownst to Michael Pike also watches with interest right beside Amanda. Michael’s actions pick up his interest. “Mrs. Grayson, if you don’t mind me asking, just how close Burnham and Georgiou are?”

Amanda sighs and she all but rolls her eyes at the question of Pike. “They never had any romantic or sexual relationship if that’s what you’re asking.” says Amanda in an annoyed tone.

Pike’s ears turn to red at the direct words of Mrs. Grayson effectively shutting him up for a short while. Clearly this is not the first time anyone assumes there is something more between them. “I…to me this seems a bit much.” replies finally Pike.

“Really? Then tell me Captain, how would _your_ _Number One_ would react if you’d lying on that bed?” asks angrily Amanda. “People always assume too much when there is some affection between two people, especially if they have a subordinate relationship.”

Pike wisely remain silent.

“Cadets, Ensigns and alike are drawn to persons with authority and charisma, just like a student has a crush on certain teachers. It is normal. It becomes a problem when the leading person abuses this power over the student or when the appeal of being put on a pedestal becomes more important than the morality of the situation. There is a reason why there are regulations on this matter, there is even a semester in command training dedicated for this.”

“I agree but there are cases when …”

“When what?” cuts Amanda in, she would most certainly shout with the Captain had they been in close quarters, but even hushed down the fury in her tone is unavoidable. “When you can’t say no? Think back to your years as a Commander and a Captain, and count the number of younger personnel on your ship with whom you slept with. If your number is higher than zero, then you shouldn’t even begin to question their relationship. Philippa Georgiou never had a relationship with any subordinate, she gracefully and quietly proved their error when their interest in her became a bit more serious.”

Pike looks at her curiously but his stance shows how deeply affected he is by Amanda’s words. “How do you know?” asks Pike softly.

“Early in their work together Michael developed a typical student-teacher crush on Georgiou. In turn Georgiou assigned Michael the task to observe every close subordinate’s gestures to find signs of close interpersonal behaviours to _get her more acquainted with human interactions_.” Amanda gestures air quotes at the end of her sentence. “Michael was mortified when she concluded that herself was showing signs of interest for her Captain. It was a good lesson, Georgiou never said a word about it.”

“So …”

“They are like family. A strong bond forged between mentor and mentee that developed to a parental like relationship. It is not uncommon as you’d think.” explains Amanda and she brings her attention back to Michael sitting beside the bed.

“And as Michael’s foster parent how do you feel about it?”

“I like the help. Michael can be really stubborn.” says Amanda with a smile.

Pike dares to smile back in response. A movement catches his eyes as he can see Burnham standing up seemingly finished with her visitation. His face then turns to earnest and quickly adds before Burnham joins them “I’m sorry that I offended you. You’re right, I had no right but thank you for telling me.” he cocks his head sideways. “And for putting me in place.”

Amanda nods in acceptance few seconds before Michael reaches them. “What’s the verdict?” asks Amanda Michael.

“That we’ll see tomorrow.” answers Michael, her tone suggest that the story not end there but it is not for Pike to hear.

“I think that’s my cue to leave” says Pike. “Take care, Commander, and if Captain Georgiou needs anything, just tell me.” then he leaves to the bridge.

“Doctor Pollard is not sure about her memory, so whenever her mind will wake up, I’ll be there to help her out.” finishes Michael whispering to her mother.

“How much do you know, about their previous life?”

“Enough to the sell the act for a little. How long, depends on how much time she’d lost. If she gets suspicious, I’ll fail in a second.”

“I see. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?”

“I’ll pack, move a few things to her place, and then I’ll put away the trinkets in her room, so when she decides to roam around there would be as little casualty as possible. And I have to talk to Saru, that we’ll station a guard here for the duration of the procedure, so unless it is a real emergency, nobody else should be here.”

“Do you need help with anything?”

Michael sighs. “No. Well, come to think of it, would I be asking too much of you to distract the Captain in the morning?”

“Distract?”

“The guard cannot say no to the Captain, but you’re not Starfleet, maybe he can be reasoned with to not observe.” Amanda raises an eyebrow. “We’ll have a privacy screen, but who knows.”

“I see. Don’t worry about him, I’ll see what I can do.”    

 

* * *

“Saru, may I have a word with you?” asks Burnham stepping into Saru’s room, her poise showing a little insecurity.

“Of course.” says Saru patiently.

“Doctor Pollard will wake Georgiou up a bit before the morning shift starts.” starts Michael “I’m assigning security near the sickbay to keep people away. I need your signature for that.” continues a bit more firmly.

“All right. It is understandable and we can put a fairly good justification behind it should someone has questions.” answers Saru.

“Thank you.”

Saru nods and he walks up to Michael “How are you faring?”

“Better than an two hours ago when I was holding her unconscious form on the Dornager.”

“After everything why do you still care so much about her?”

Michael looks into Saru’s eyes “I’m asking the same question from myself, but then I arrive at another question. Why does she care, when she made it clear on several occasions that there are no second chances?”

“Don’t you think it is a ruse?”

Michael shakes her head. “No, not this time. She could’ve died saving me. There was no way she knew she’d walking away after that debris falling over.”

“I see. However, if you don’t mind, I will exert caution for you as well.”

“I don’t mind.” smiles Michael, then she becomes serious. “Have you talked to her?”

“No. Why?” Saru replies a bit nervous, but Michael dismisses it given Saru’s and the Emperor’s history.

“She is working for a clandestine faction of the Federation. They are aware of her origin. And she didn’t divulge whether she has more agenda than helping us out.”

“After she almost committed genocide, somebody actually offered her a job with such responsibilities?” Saru flares up in response. “I’ll increase the security. Just in case.”

“If all goes well tomorrow, Georgiou will be released to her quarter. Since she’d blind, putting guards outside her room would make some sense, don’t you think?” concludes Michael.

Saru picks up a PADD from a nearby table “On it.”

“Then I’m heading back, thank you, Saru.”

“Just be careful, Burnham.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!   
> Merry winter solstice celebration everybody!
> 
> I'll have some spare time on my hands, so I plan to post another two chapters during the next week.


	10. Rough patches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always be prepared

“Good morning, Doctor Pollard!” greets Michael.

“Good morning, Commander. I see that you’re early as usual.”

“I just wanted to make sure, there is no glitch in waking her up.” Michael glances back to the door where Amanda is just intercepting Captain Pike from entering.

“Is that why your mother is guarding the door from the Captain?” asks suspiciously Pollard.

“Guilty as charged.” smiles Burnham. 

* * *

 “Good morning, Captain. I see that you’re in rush to get inside but as a friend of Philippa I cannot allow you to do that.” announces Amanda, while holding up her palm to stop Pike.

“Mrs. Grayson, why am I not surprised you’re acting as a guard, nonetheless a charming one.” smiles Pike.

“We both know why.” answers Amanda the rhetorical question in a warning tone.

“And why my presence would be problematic when the Doctor wakes up Captain Georgiou?” asks Pike suspiciously.

“Captain, I assume you’re aware of Philippa’s recent history?”

Pike nods.

“Now, put yourself into her place. You’re held captive as a prisoner by the Klingons for over a year and you wake up disoriented, blinded and possibly not hearing too much. How would you react?”

Pike turns thoughtful. “I’d try to fight whoever is near to me.”

“Exactly. The doctor and Michael thought that in order to keep her dignity intact only the two of them will be present, without any unwanted attention.”

“I see your point. Still, I’d like to wait here outside with you until they finish up, if that’s all right.”

“I’d be glad to have some company here, if you behave of course.” says Amanda playfully.

* * *

 “Well, according to her chart, everything is as expected. But Commander please keep in mind that brain dysfunctions can manifest later on, despite an initial lack of them.” Pollard waits for Burnham to acknowledge her words before continuing. “Activating the privacy screen now. We can proceed to wake her up, when you’re ready.” announces Pollard and Michael fixes the ties around Georgiou’s legs.

“I’ve tied down her legs and I think I can manage to act as her Michael if need be.” says Michael with as much strength as she can muster up. Burnham positions herself right to Georgiou while Pollard stands on the left.

“Administering the serum. It may take a minute to have an effect, be ready Commander.” and Pollard steps back a bit.

Georgiou’s facial muscles start to move. Michael studies her face with intent to catch any sudden attack she’s sure coming up. Just as she holds out her arms to steady Georgiou’s, Georgiou takes a deep breath and begins to sit up in alarm, her arms flailing then moving to the binders around her legs.

“Stop it!” says Michael, grasping Georgiou’s arms to grab her attention. The movement however only aggravates Georgiou and she begins to hit the person grabbing her arms. To Michael’s luck the blows lack the usual strength carried in them.

“Please stop fighting!” says Michael again fruitlessly. “Doctor, would you please hold down her shoulders? I could steady her then.” asks Michael. Pollard does as Michael asks, and Michael grabs Georgiou’s left hand with hers all the while trapping the other arm between the two of them pressing Georgiou into the mattress.

“Mother, stop!” yells Michael in another attempt to grab Georgiou’s attention. To her surprise Georgiou goes slack.

“Michael?” whispers Georgiou weakly.

“Yes, it is me. Can you hear me?” asks Michael, trying this time gently and she adjusts the hands of Georgiou on her face while easing herself up, to not press into her anymore.

Georgiou nods, and begins to caress the face in front of her as if trying to recognise it, then suddenly she strengthens her hold on Michael.

“Why am I not dead?” asks Georgiou aggressively.

“You were injured.”

“You could’ve killed me, let me die. That way you wouldn’t need to plot with that bastard Lorca to kill me anymore. But a word of advice, as soon as he is within arm’s reach to the throne, he’ll dispose of you as well.”

Michael sighs, here it goes. “For the umpteenth time, I’m not plotting against you. And why would I kill you when you’re helpless? In this current position it is either my mother died to save my ass or my mother saved my ass and then I decided to kill her in a form of gratitude. Both would look really good. I’d have a target on my back from the first second, because my actions would suggest that I’m incompetent and weak. No, thank you. Besides I’ve told you before that I have no interest in the throne yet.” counters Burnham with anger in her voice and she tries to pry Georgiou’s fingers from her face but her grasp it too strong for her.

“So, you admit that you’ve thought about it.” Georgiou’s voice is laced with venom.

“You’ve named me as your successor, sooner or later I’ll be sitting on it. Why would I tempt faith? To be immediately executed for treason? I’d rather stay alive and walk my own path for a while if it is all the same to you, Mother.” replies Michael. “As for Lorca, the only way he can get within 3 feet to the throne is when he attends a council meeting.”

At her answer Georgiou smiles, and loosens her hold on Michael. “Good answer! I applaud you.” and Georgiou pats Michael’s cheek.

“What?” Michael asks incredulously.

“I’d paid a lot to see your face but alas I am blinded there is no reason to continue this charade, daughter who is not my daughter.” answers Georgiou, the last part of her sentence a clear indication to Michael that she remembers.

“You’re impossible!” exclaims Michael.

“Yeah-yeah. Now, tell me Doctor,” Georgiou manoeuvres her head to the left addressing the other person who held her down a few minutes before, but her right hand not leaves Michael’s face. “just how blind am I?”  

“How do you know it’s the Doctor?” asks Michael surprised.

“Tsk. You wouldn’t let anybody else near me in case I forgot where I am. Now, I’m getting impatient. Doctor?”

“Not entirely,” starts Pollard “but for at least a day, you’ll wear a blindfold so your eyes would heal faster.”

“This is only temporary then?” asks Georgiou.

“Yes. You’ll get your full sight back in around 4-5 days.”

“Good. Then I won’t have to plot how to kill myself while someone watches over me.”

“Philippa!” Michael raises her voice.

“You know where I stand on being here. I couldn’t do anything if I was blinded.” says Georgiou calmly.

“We’ll get back to this later.” warns Michael.

“Can’t wait.” smirks Georgiou. “Anything else to know Doctor?”

“Yes, I’d like to examine your eyes before letting you go. Computer lights down to 10% in the privacy area.” The light dims, and Pollard removes the blinders from Georgiou.

“All right, slowly open your eyes. Tell me if you can see anything other than complete darkness.”

“Nothing.”

Pollard pulls out a flashlight turns it on directing it on her hand positioned in front of Georgiou.

“And now?”

“Something. A smudge of light.”

“Good. It is a good sign. Now, I’ll put this back on, please close your eyes.” as Pollard proceeds, she lights up the area again. “I’ll let you go back to your quarter, but only with supervision. The Commander will stay with you to help you with anything. I’ll check on your progress every morning. In the meantime, you have to tell the Commander if you have any kind of headache. You still have a concussion, and your brain is still swelled a bit. If you have any pain, it needs to be addressed immediately. Do you understand?”

“Yes. House arrest again.” grumbles Georgiou. Michael releases Georgiou’s leg straps.

“And no strenuous physical activity. Without any medical file on Terran physiology this is the best I can do.” says Pollard.

“You expect me to lay all day? And what would I do?”

“Yes, lay all day. You can listen to music or browse the database on Federation history I’m sure you’re lacking of, the computer will read it for you or you can always ask the Commander. However, your body is tired, you went through a surgery and you were in a coma. You’ll find out that getting a few hours of nap is quite easy.” ascertains Pollard. “As for your motor functions, expect some loss in accuracy, but it will come back. Based on your previous actions I would say there is nothing to worry about.”

“Great, any more good news?” asks Georgiou in dismay.

“I think Captain Pike is still waiting outside with Amanda, would you mind having them here for a little chat?” asks Burnham cautiously not wanting to upset Georgiou any more than necessary.

“Fine. That’s all I seem to be able to do anyways.” grumbles Georgiou.

Doctor Pollard dismisses the privacy screen and Michael heads out to meet Pike.

“Captain! Thank you for being patient.” says Michael.

“You could’ve just told me to stay put.” answers Pike.

Michael nods. “I’ll will do so next time, if it is needed. Captain Georgiou’s condition right now is better than expected. She is lucid and there is no problem with her hearing. For her eye treatment we’ll stay on course with what the Doctor said before. If you wish, you can speak to her before we transport her to her quarter’s.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> I've sort of finished the next chapter, but I'll only post it after I'm ahead of it with at least one chapter.


	11. Cohabitating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can build a thick wall, dig a moat, and still have a drawing bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the first time that I've used Memory Alpha (http://memory-alpha.wikia.com) for this story to not use make up names and events, i.e. to not stray far from canon (wink-wink DIS writers ... as if any one of them would read this or use MA). Anyways, credit.

“OK. You’ll just stay put. If you need anything let me know.” tells Burnham to Georgiou assisting her to the end of the bed.

“Did you move anything?”

“No, but I’ve put away decorations from all the surfaces, the table is still here with the couch. I’ve put a bottled tea on the nightstand to your right. We can change it to something else.”

“Tea is fine. Are you planning on being here all day?”

“Yes.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“I brought an inflatable mattress, I’ll put it near the door so it wouldn’t be in your way, should you want to use the facilities at night.”

“Speaking of facilities …” trails Georgiou off.

“Oh, you need to … Got you, hold on to my arm.” Michael eases her way to Georgiou. Mindlessly she reaches for Georgiou’s arm but in a split second she notices as Georgiou recoils. “Just grab on to me, if you need.” says Michael understanding the hesitancy of Georgiou.

Georgiou musters up all her strength to stand up and not lean on Michael too much nonetheless she lightly holds onto her arm for support. “Well your doctor was not exaggerating, it feels like I’ve been running for 24 hours then got hit by a shuttle.”

“That beam hit you hard, the hardest part of your suit almost broke.” explains Michael as they move slowly to the shower. “Here we are. If you need anything just call me.”

Michael waits patiently for Georgiou to finish up, when the shower door opens.

“You must have a hell of a time seeing me in this state.” says Georgiou.

Michael reaches for her arm again to lead Georgiou back to the bed. “Seriously?” asks Michael “I know you feel vulnerable, but you don’t have to lash out in every 5 minutes. I don’t like seeing you this way, because so far, you’re the epitome of indestructible and I admire that. Look, we both know I wouldn’t hurt you deliberately, so please don’t make it any more difficult.”

“Fine, as long as you’re not prodding too much.”

“How about just one question, then I’ll leave it, until you get better.”

“You were not an easy child to satisfy, were you?”

Michael chuckles “I’m sure Amanda could tell you stories about it for days. Why did you name me as your medical proxy?”

“Without a proxy, if something were to happen to me, a stranger, who I don’t trust would decide over my fate. Those who doesn’t know my real identity are as good as any stranger. And most of those who know me would want to bury me with all the information on my universe or your Captain Georgiou would never name them as proxy. That leaves you. At least this way you’d be notified had I die. Satisfied?”

“I guess.”

“Good. What’s your agenda for today?” asks Georgiou.

“I don’t have one, aside being here. The data is still being collated, I can begin to work on it tomorrow at best, the Captain put me off duty and delegated my personnel work to Saru. Do you wish to listen to some music or do you want me to a read a book for you?”

“No. I think the Doctor had a point when she said I’d be tired. I’ll just lay down and sleep a bit.” says Georgiou on her way to the bed.

“OK. I’ll just sit down and work on some transporter routines if its noise doesn’t bother you.” replies Michael but Georgiou is already asleep.

 

* * *

 

“Emperor, based on our sensor readings Lorca is on the surface of Priors World, the Buran is hiding behind its moon. Captain Burnham just boarded a shuttle to pursuit Lorca on the surface.” announces Captain Maddox. “Awaiting orders.”

“Disable the Buran.” orders Georgiou. But after a minute the viewscreen shows a change in events. The Buran shoots toward the shuttle already in the atmosphere of the planet and it explodes followed by a bigger explosion, shocking the Emperor. “Captain Maddox?” questions the Emperor.

“The Buran shot down the shuttle, and it created a chain reaction.” confirming the scene unfolding on the screen trying hard not utter the name of Burnham. Maddox gulps and quickly adjusts the sensors to check for Lorca’s signature, but it is nowhere to be found. “Emperor, I’ve lost Lorca on the sensors, the ion storm that formed makes it impossible to get readings.” says Maddox fearfully.

Blinding rage fills the Emperor, her hands begin to shake and she reaches for the weapon controls of the Charon. She targets the Buran, then unleashes her wrath in form of photon torpedoes on the ship, destroying it in seconds. “Captain Maddox, send out a search team to scan the debris of the shuttle and to bring in other remaining rebelling forces on the surface. I want clear evidence on who was in that shuttle.” orders Georgiou while she retreats to her room. “And I want the rebels alive.” says Georgiou over her shoulder not really looking back to anybody, the implication of her plans with the remaining rebels is clear in her voice.

As the doors close behind her, fear grips her heart, her thoughts run amok in her mind. “I must focus.” says Georgiou out loud to herself and folds her hands to tight fists in anger. Then a chime on her door makes her turn around sharply. _How long has it been since I’d left the bridge_ , she wonders?

“Emperor, I regret to inform you that the destroyed shuttle was indeed Captain Burnham’s. There is enough DNA residue to confirm that she was the only person on that shuttle.” says Maddox, head bowed not even daring to look upon the Emperor.

“You’re dismissed.” manages Georgiou to the Captain.

She walks over to her table and smashes everything to floor as the agony of losing her daughter stabs her heart and takes over her body. Try as she might but strangled sob escapes her mouth. She wants to shout out loud but that would cause attention, and she cannot afford to lose her sight on any remainder member of the rebels. But the thought is tempting, _I don’t have anything left to lose_. Just as she is about to crash the nearest glass to the wall in front of her to vent some of her pain, another chime alerts her, but this time it sounds differently. She turns again to the door, but the room changes into her quarters aboard the Discovery and now it is Pike who enters.

“Captain Georgiou, it is difficult to convey this, but it is my sombre duty to tell you that Commander Burnham has succumbed to her injuries. I’m sorry.” informs Pike and as soon as he is finished, he leaves the room. Another flash of grief emerges as the news floor her again, this time literally. Georgiou shakes her head, as she is on her knees, _this can’t be happening again._ Her hand flies to her heart, whether to rip it to finally end the pain or to acknowledge its inconvenient presence, she is unsure. Twice, she lost a daughter, she failed both of them in both universes.

“Well, congratulations, Mother!” comes a mocking voice suddenly from the darkness of the room. Her Michael is sitting at the end of her bed, her face and body is failing, burn simmers at the edges of the visible scars across her body, her Terran uniform is in tatters possibly the only thing holding her in one piece. “You’ve sent me after that bastard to test my loyalty, and you managed to kill both of us with one stone, so much for your caring. Ha! And I was supposed to be the arrogant child who wanted to usurp the Terran throne from you. And now not only you’ve failed me, but another one of me as well in another universe.” rants the Terran Michael and waves to the other person sitting by a lavish dinner table.

“You were only two feet away, and you tell me you really couldn’t have done better. All you could do was standing there watching me crushed by that pylon.” and the other Michael indicates to her dented skull, blood dripping to her shoulders “I thought we’re supposed to protect each other.” says the other Michael feeling betrayed. Georgiou for a minute just sits, crippled with loss, still on her knees midway to the two Michael, looking at them in disbelief.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never meant any of this to happen.” her voice brakes, tear threatening to appear.

“I think we, Michaels both agree that sorry doesn’t really heal these wounds.” and the Terran Michael leans down to Georgiou, pushing her disintegrating arms for her mother to see clearly.  

 

* * *

 

Michael’s thoughts on her work are disturbed when she hears Georgiou’s laboured breathing and she can hear a silent but painful moan accompanied with a slight movement. She puts down the PADD on the table in front of her as quietly as possible and she steps over to the bed checking on Georgiou. The Emperor’s face is constantly changing with emotions as she’s seemingly tormented by something. Michael is both in marvel at how controlled Georgiou is even in this state, as she is concerned about her welfare. She decides to wake her up in a minute if Georgiou continues like this.

Georgiou lets out a weak no and she wakes from her nightmare, scaring Michael a bit, who tries to be unperceivable to the Emperor. She sits up in an unfamiliar bed, she can’t see and the images of the disintegrating flesh of her daughter and the cracked skull of the other Michael is still vivid in her mind. Georgiou tries to control her breathing and focus on the noises surrounding the room to locate herself. Is she still dreaming? Why can’t she see? Her hand touches her head feeling some sort of contraption over her eyes, while she notices a breathing pattern apart from her own, a familiar one and quite close. At any other time, it would be comforting, that it sounds like Michael’s but after reliving her own personal hell, she’s not sure of the world anymore.

“Michael?” Georgiou tentatively says to the figure sitting on the bed near to her judging by the dipping of the mattress.

“Yes, it’s me.” answers Michael trying to level her voice, unsure about the Emperor’s memory.

“I … What happened to my eyes?”

Michael reaches for Georgiou’s hands in an attempt to help her align herself. “You can’t see because you saved me, remember?” tries Michael, she is still avoiding anything that would reveal the universe they are in.

Georgiou grasps Michael’s hands and takes a deep breath. _Saved me_. It struck her how that phrase evicts a shudder in her, the stark contrast of the words of her daughters. Then as her breathing slows down, the image becomes clear. “You’re not my Michael.” says Georgiou defeatedly.

“No, I’m not.” comes the crestfallen response from Michael. Georgiou nods in acknowledgement slowly. Michael is concerned. This is not the typical behaviour she’d expect from the Emperor and her hands feel clammy. “Are you all right?” She reaches with the back of her hand to the forehead of Georgiou for any sign of fever.

Georgiou swats the offending hand away. “I’m not sick, I just had a nightmare.” tells Georgiou in irritation her walls standing tall again.

“You don’t look fine.” says Michael and despite the initial resistance of Georgiou her hand quests to search for any sign of illness, when she notices how drenched the clothes of Georgiou are.

“I’ll replicate another set of clothes for you.” states Michael and she quickly leaves for the replicator.

“I would advise replicating another sheet as well if you’re already replicating, I’ve sweated through.” admits Georgiou patting the soaked sheet is disgust where she laid.

“On it.” acknowledges Michael. While she sets up the parameters for replicating, she hears Georgiou leaving the bed, and from the corner of her eye she can see Georgiou’s confidently advancing to the shower. A minute later with clothes and bedding in her hand Michael walks to the bed with the intent of changing its sheets while Georgiou is in the shower. Just as she is finished making the bed, Georgiou slowly walks out of the shower naked, unashamed. Michael can only gasp in response and she quickly turns her back to Georgiou to offer some privacy.

“I put the wet clothes in the refresher.” explains Georgiou to the unasked question, but Michael is still rooted to her spot. Georgiou lets out an irritated sigh. “I need the new ones, unless you want to see me parade around naked all day instead.” 

Michael’s mouth is still kept shut unable to form any intelligible word but she turns around to face Georgiou. She grabs the top first and hands it to Georgiou in a swift move, trying to keep her eyes over Georgiou’s head, her own cheeks flaming in embarrassment which the Emperor obviously lacks. _It’s a good thing she can’t see, she’d tease me for the rest of my life for this._    

“What was the least amount of clothing you’ve seen your Captain in?” asks Georgiou amusedly, enjoying the obvious uneasiness of Burnham as she dons her top, mindful of her bruises on her back. Michael’s unresponsiveness sparks another light in her. “Michael?” asks Georgiou with lilt in her voice.

“About the equivalent of a longer beach short and a tank top and it was about 5 years ago.” Michael finally manages to say and she hands over the bottom of the attire.

“I thought that this wouldn’t be new to you. You know, where I come from sleeping with the Captain is a sure way of climbing the ladder and as far as I’ve seen it is not that unheard of in this universe.” torments Georgiou further but she’s reaching toward Michael in a silent way to help her stand steady while she puts her legs in the trousers.

“We both know that Captain Georgiou was like a mother to me, and I’m sure you would never think of me as someone who’d have sex with a relative. I certainly don’t think you would.”

“True, but I’m sure you were tempted by her presence at the beginning, when she wasn’t your _mother_ yet.”

Michael doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she stays silent. She knows that Georgiou is just toying with her in order to distract her inquiry about the nightmare she had. Maybe she should fire back as Amanda suggested. “What was your nightmare about?”

“It is none of your business.”

“It is, if such never happened before. It could be related to your injury.” presses Michael on.

Georgiou sighs “Let’s just say I’m familiar with this type of nightmare.”

Michael accepts the answer and she can hear that the Emperor stopped taunting her. _Her plan actually worked!_  “Would you like to eat something?” asks Michael hands behind her back standing at attention, as if Georgiou would care, or see. “It is already 1 pm and you need to eat.”

“Well, if I need to eat then who am I to argue with?” replies Georgiou still standing at the shower door.

“Good, I’ll replicate a light sandwich for now.”

Georgiou only nods and she tries to feel her way over to the couch while Michael is at the replicator. At the noise of movement, she hurries back to Georgiou trying to help her out.

“Don’t fuss over me.” shoves Georgiou Michael away. “I can, I need to find my way. You said that there is nothing to push down, so I will manage. Go, grab the food.”

Michael arrives back with two plates and she puts one in front of Georgiou. “The sandwich is in front of you, I’ll put your hand on it.”

“Come to think of it, I never had one before.”

“What?”

“A sandwich.”

“Oh. There are a lot of variations and you grab it using your hands and eat. I thought … ”

Georgiou hums in response and she finds it easy to eat the food without making a mess and deprecating herself.

After they finish an uncomfortable silence fills the room. Georgiou decides to break it. “Is there something you’d like to know about the Terran Empire? Culture, history, governmental system?” offers Georgiou in a kind gesture, grateful for Michael’s consideration on the food type.

“Are you serious?”

“Maybe I’ll drop in a few stories from my past as well, if you are willing to do the same.”

“Yes, I’d like that!” the scientist in Burnham cheers up in an instant. “You sure, you wouldn’t mind?”

“Just get on with it.” sighs Georgiou at hearing the overexcitement in Michael’s voice.

* * *

After they’d settled down to sleep during the night Michael tries to find a comfortable spot on her mattress, but her thoughts don’t allow the comfort of sleeping. The unabashed action of the Emperor stripping down is still on her mind, it also struck her how defenceless that made the Emperor, and she showed that she trusted her with that. _Or was she just pushing her buttons again? And what she dreamt about that had this effect on her? A high chance that it was about her Michael, losing a child must have an effect even on someone like Georgiou._ She never said a word about it, but after their lunch there was something in her actions, a gentle warmth Georgiou tried to hide sometimes. After a while Michael got fed up with her thoughts going in circles, so she tries to lull herself to sleep by listening to the quiet surroundings but this time all she could hear is the way Georgiou is struggling to find peace in her own bed.

Georgiou lies on her back trying to sleep. Her body is tired but the prospect of falling back to the same nightmare terrifies her. Over the course of time she turned numerous times to find a new spot, but it still doesn’t work no matter how many poses she tries. When her Michael was a child, she often found herself in her room just listening to her sleep, calming her when the matters of the Empire were taking its toll on her. Now as she tries to soothe herself with listening to Michael, she hears that Michael is not asleep yet, though they went to bed almost an hour ago. “Michael?”

“Hmm?”

“Sleep, you’re making too much noise.”

Michael snorts “Says pot to the kettle.” Then it dawns on Michael, that Georgiou might need the assurance that she is there. And maybe, if she is honest with herself, she also needs to know that Georgiou is alive and breathing. Michael decides to be bold. _What’s the worst that could happen?_ She gathers her quilt and trudges loudly to the empty side of Georgiou’s bed. She sits on it for a minute. When she hears no objection, she moves away Georgiou’s quilt so she wouldn’t lie on it, and lies down on the bed.

Georgiou sighs and an errant tear escapes into the darkness. She turns on her left side, away from Michael but she can still feel the dip in the bed behind her, hoping that it will be enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keeping up! :)
> 
> Rant #1:  
> I sat down to write Chapter #12, then it became almost 6000 words so I've split it in two! Which means that I'll even make it to three posted chapters this week.  
> Rant #2:  
> I have a bad feeling that a new promo will surface before this story is finished and it will crack my mind and break the stride. Must finish ... (not watching a promo would be way to easy, and totally incomprehensible)  
> Rant #3  
> All grammar errors, typos are my own. I'm using grammar check with Word, then reread a chapter about 10 times and just before I click on the post button I find an error. Grrr. _Deep breath, this is a good way to practice English writing._


	12. Hurdles along the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old habits tend to stick strongly and definitely won’t die.

Morning came fast and Burnham and Georgiou are awakened to the sound of the chime.

“Who is it?” asks in a sleepy voice Michael, clambering out of Georgiou’s bed.

“Uhm, it’s me Doctor Pollard.”

The name instantly wakes up Michael, she quickly grabs her quilt from the bed and drops it on her mattress haphazardly stumbling to the door. “I thought you said you’ll visit at 7 o’clock.”

“It’s 7:15, Commander. May I?” asks Pollard to be let in. Michael steps away from the door in confusion and follows the doctor inside. “How is the Emperor?”

“Tired, but very much present.” mumbles Georgiou sitting up on the bed.

“Good. Sleep is good for your body.” notes Pollard. “I won’t take up too much of your time. We’ll do the same routine as yesterday.” explains the doctor to both of them. “Computer, lights to 10%. Emperor open your eyes, please.”

“You can call me Captain Georgiou if that’s easier.” says Georgiou, then quickly adds “I can see blurred shadows, figures. Michael, are you standing over there?” and she points to Burnham.

“Yes, that’s her. Good, now for the lamp test. It is clearer than yesterday?” Georgiou closes her eyes as the light disturbs her. ”I take it as a yes. Keep the bandage on for today. Tomorrow we’ll try to take it off and keep it that way under low light.”

“Finally.” blurts out Georgiou. “It really irks me.”

“Did you have any headaches, motor function problems?”

“None so far, but I wasn’t really moving around either.”

“Well, then that’s it for today. Tomorrow I’ll come visiting at the same time. Good day Captain, and please keep it light.” on her way out she nods to Burnham.

“I don’t know about you, but I’ll turn back to sleep.” declares Georgiou already lying back.

“How about breakfast first, then you go back to sleep instead? I’ll just take a quick shower.”

“Go.” says Georgiou, climbing out of the bed. She slowly heads to the replicator and orders some sandwiches, then she advances to the table slowly trying to balance the food on the plate without seeing how it is angled.

Michael steps out of the shower already changed into her uniform and she is surprised to find Georgiou at the table with two plates of sandwiches on it.

“Wow. You didn’t have to.”

“But I had to try.”

“Impressive.” says Michael awe in her voice.

“It’s nothing new.” Georgiou quickly replies after biting into her food.

“Never thought of you as a humble being.” jabs Michael back in humour.

“Pike to Burnham.” announces the intercom.

“Yes, Captain?”

“I’m sorry but I have to take you away from Captain Georgiou for a little while for an away mission.”

Georgiou dismisses Michael as she feels her gaze “Go. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be there in a minute, Burnham out.” says Michael. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. I’ll leave a communicator on the left nightstand should you need anything. And there are two guards at the door, if you need help, you can even shout.” replies Michael and she leaves hurriedly. “I’ll tell you when I’m expected to be back.”

* * *

An hour later the chime wakes Georgiou from her slumber.

“Who is it?”

Saru takes a deep breath and tries to be as friendly as he can so the guards wouldn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. “Saru. May I come in for a minute?”

Georgiou sits up, loath filling her, but then she remembers that there are others outside hearing their conversation. She walks over to the viewport to look as intimidating as she can in a set of training gear Michael had chosen for her to wear, even if she can’t see a thing. “Computer, lights down.” _And now the battlefields are levelled._ Then she straightens herself “Come in.”

Saru steps in from the brightly lit corridor to the darkness of the room, his eyes slowly adjusting to the change in light. “Michael asked me to inform you that she is expected to be back around 1 pm, and to offer my help in any kind of assistance you require.” says Saru as politely as he can muster.

“I don’t need anything from you.” spats Georgiou out.

“Very well. I’ll take my leave then. By the way I’m only here because Michael asked me not because I volunteered.”

Georgiou remains silent and she listens to the sounds Saru makes as he leaves the room. _Great, just what I’m supposed to do for another 4 and a half hours?_

* * *

“Computer, what’s the time?” inquires Georgiou impatiently.

“14:10”

_Michael should’ve been back over an hour ago_. Georgiou’s stomach grumbles grabbing her attention. She walks over to the replicator with practiced movement – she had a lot of time on her hand – orders herself some food and she walks back to the couch plate held firmly with both hands so she could estimate its angle, just as she did in the morning. Halfway, suddenly she feels a tingling sensation in her right arm and for a second, then she completely loses all of its strength. Georgiou tries to compensate the loss with her left hand, but the plate becomes unbalanced before she regains control over her right and the plate and its contents fall to the floor. In her frustration she hits the small partition which she knows it’s there with her right hand and she crouches down to pick up the remnants off the floor. Before she could pick up everything the door chime alerts her.

The visitor announces herself without asking “It’s me Amanda.”

Georgiou huffs. She doesn’t really need this. She grabs what she can reach and shoves them behind the partition in a hope that Amanda wouldn’t notice it should she wander in and she pats down her clothes. She touches the bruises on her knuckles to estimate their possible visible severity and pulls the sleeve a bit down to hide it.

“Yes.” answers Georgiou, the room still clad in darkness.

“Ugh. Hi! I just… Would you mind if I turn up the light?” starts Amanda cheerly.

“Be my guest.” gestures Georgiou in dismay. “What happened to Michael?”

“They are late. Ran into some logistical trouble.”

“Why are you here?”

“Michael asked me to administer your medicine and to make sure you’ve eaten. And she says she’s sorry for not being back in time.”

“I gave myself the medicine an hour ago, as it is scheduled, and I just ate. Now what?” leaves the clipped words Georgiou’s mouth. She clearly doesn’t want Amanda to be there.

Amanda walks over to the replicator checking its readout, noting that indeed Georgiou ordered lunch for herself 15 minutes ago. “I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to be this limited even for a short period of time.”

“I don’t need your pity.” forces Georgiou out, anger rising in her.

“I’m not here for that. I came because I thought you’d want some company; the computer’s voice can become irritating after a while.” replies Amanda.

Georgiou lets out a deep breath. She could kill Amanda even blinded, so she is not really a threat to her and she is definitely bored. Georgiou walks over to a chair, grabs it, and puts it down in front of the couch strategically aligned so Amanda wouldn’t be able to see the scattered food behind her. “Well then, take a seat.” says Georgiou.

“That was impressive.” praises Amanda. “How did you do that?” and she replicates herself a big mug of tea.

“It is a small room, with not a lot of obstacles. It is not difficult to memorize the number of steps required for each obstacle.” and she sits down on the couch, her left hand reaching for her bottled tea trying to prevent her stomach from gurgling. “Tell me, how come you married a boring Vulcan instead of a lively Federation officer?”

Amanda laughs out. “It’s a long story.”

“I can’t really go anywhere.”

“All right. But after that would you tell me about how Michael became your daughter? If it is not too painful.” asks Amanda tentatively.

* * *

Georgiou and Amanda immerse themselves in stories of their lives completely forgetting about their surroundings. As Amanda would start another story, her stomach notifies her of the time spent in Georgiou’s room. “Oh. Computer what is the time?”

“19:03”

“Wow. Would you like to eat something? I think I could.” asks Amanda.

“No, I’m not hungry” replies Georgiou but her stomach has another idea as a loud gurgling sound emerges.

Amanda quickly stands up with the replicator in mind “Oh, non-sense, we’ll eat. Then I’m going to hunt down Mr. Saru for the whereabouts of Michael.” as she finishes her rambling, she notices the food thrown in the corner. She stands still. Then turns around. “Why didn’t you tell me, you had an accident?” asks Amanda.

“Because it is none of your business.” answers Georgiou and she stands up. “Now get out!” orders a bit louder her tone turning to hostile.

“I just …” tries Amanda.

“I said, get out! Don’t think for a second that I couldn’t kill you even now.” states Georgiou in a bone-chilling tone, that causes Amanda to step back toward the door.

For the first time since meeting the Emperor, she feels terror creeping up on her spine. “I’ll go.” says Amanda weakly and she leaves the room in a rush leaving a very angry Georgiou behind.

* * *

But perhaps not as angry as she is right now. “Computer, what is the location of Commander Burnham?”

“Commander Burnham is in engineering.”

At the computer’s answer Amanda hurries to find her daughter, who is in a need of indisputable scolding.

* * *

 “Lieutenant Stamets!” starts a furious Amanda as she steps in engineering.

Before she could ask for Michael, he gulps and points into the direction of Michael without being asked. Amanda charges down the corridor Stamets directed her to. Tilly just blinks at the exchange at a nearby console.

“Wow.” exhales Stamets and turns to Tilly. “That’s not what I expected. I kinda understand now why Captain Pike is acting like a puppy who’s been accidentally kicked by its owner when she’s near. He must have upset her with something.”

Tilly can only stand in silence listening to the mumbling of Stamets, her lips pursed.

“Do you know perhaps what Pike said to her?” asks Stamets, then quickly adds “No. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know, I’d like to keep my skin on me.” continues speaking more to himself than to Tilly.

* * *

“Michael Burnham!” exclaims Amanda when she founds her daughter engrossed in what seems like a display of newly discovered schematic.

Michael turns to her mother. “Amanda, what are you doing here?”

Amanda looks around noticing some Ensign working at a nearby console. They lock gaze and the Ensign hurries out. “What am _I_ doing here? What are _you_ doing here? You were supposed to be back for Georgiou about 5 hours ago.”

“Five hours? It is that late already?” Michael shuffles. “I’ll go back in a minute.” says Michael but her attention is still on the display in front of her.

“No. You go now.” orders Amanda emphasising every word.

“What happened?” Michael turns her gaze to Amanda in interest.

“One minute we were chatting, then in the other I’ve noticed that she must’ve dropped her lunch and she threatened to kill me.” stuns Amanda Michael. “Before you say anything,” warns Amanda “she is acting like a wounded wild animal, nothing more. She needs you, and you left her to fend for herself.”

Michael shuts the display down, her head bowed in shame “She was fine. She made herself breakfast and went to the table on her own. I thought I can …”

“You obviously miscalculated. Now.” Amanda takes a deep breath to calm herself. “You go back, you apologise and both of you sit down to eat, because I think you also haven’t eaten anything all day, just buried yourself within whatever you’ve brought back.”

Michael nods. “I’m sorry that I’ve put you into this position.” says Michael and she rushes back to Georgiou’s room without even saying a word to Stamets and Tilly.

Amanda walks out to Stamets and Tilly a bit more composed, hands on her hips, and the two almost salutes to her presence. “Is this new work time sensible?” inquires Amanda.

Both Stamets and Tilly shakes their head in response.

“Can some of the work be delegated to others and could she work on it in Captain Georgiou’s room?” comes the next inquiry.

“Yes, and yes.” replies Stamets.

“Good, see to it that it will be done.” and without waiting for an acknowledgement Amanda walks out suddenly craving a good drink to calm her nerves down.

“So fragile but she is so terrifying.” whispers Stamets to Tilly.

“Oh, you haven’t seen Captain Georgiou’s menacing look yet.” remarks Tilly. Stamets raises an eyebrow. “You really don’t want to know.” smirks Tilly.

* * *

Michael all but bursts through Georgiou’s door. She doesn’t need to look around to find her, she is standing rigid at the viewport hands folded into fists at the sudden noise of the intruder. “It’s me.” says Michael but the only response she gets is Georgiou loosening her shoulders. Michael walks over to the replicator and orders two sets of burritos without any question then heads for the couch. “I’ve brought dinner.” explains Michael. Georgiou sits down to the centre of the couch, not leaving space for Michael. Michael nods to herself accepting the silent treatment as a well-deserved penalty. _Come to think of it, I would deserve worse_ , thinks Michael. She puts down the food on the table and waits until Georgiou begins to eat. Then she looks around to find the rummage her mother was talking about. When she spots it, she stands up to clean it up, but Georgiou’s voice stops her.

“Eat.”

Michael sits back not daring to oppose Georgiou and quietly they finish their meal. When they are finished, Georgiou stands up and heads for the shower and Michael uses that time to finally clean up. As Georgiou emerges from the shower in her nightclothes, Michael tries to stop her on her way to the bed.

“I’m sorry, Philippa.” remorse filling Michael’s voice, tears gathering in her eyes. “I caught up with the artefact that we’ve found.”

“I understand. I probably would’ve done the same thing.” shrugs Georgiou and steps away from Michael trying to hide her face.

“No. You wouldn’t have. I was irresponsible, I should’ve come back.”

Georgiou releases a heavy sigh but doesn’t say a word, she just lies down on her bed feeling utterly betrayed. She cannot explain even to herself why she is so angry. It is not like she had been left behind in a warzone. Michael thought that this room is safe, she’d even asked her most trusted – dare she say – relatives to help her. But to her it was a difficult experience. Georgiou can’t remember the last time she felt this exposed, this vulnerable. In the Empire, Michael’s actions would’ve cost her life. And even knowing that she’s not in that world anymore this hurt her like a betrayal to end her life.

Michael retreats to her spot, brings out her mattress and in the deafening silence she tries to think how to shovel out of the ditch she dug out herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still entertained. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Naïve ol' me thought that this story will be shorter than my previous one. Ha! I'm just 7000 words shy away from it and I still have about 3 chapters to write. (And the next short trek will air in 5 days, possibly meaning that a new last promo will air before season start ... why haven't I checked it before, duh.)


	13. Self-inflicted wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no instinct like that of the heart. (George Byron)

When Pollard visits in the morning she could’ve sworn that the environmental controls are not working properly based on the chilly atmosphere. “OK. Let’s start from the beginning, computer, lights at 10%. What do you see?” inquires Pollard.

“I think I can see everything I supposed to.”

“Good, now the lamp. Is it better than yesterday?”

“Yes, it hurts less.”

“Then we move to the next phase. Computer lights at 30%.” and she pulls out a hand-held scanner to examine the reaction of Georgiou’s brain and eyes. “You must tell me if this is too much.”

“No. There is no discomfort. And I can see fine.”

“All right. I want you to let your body to adjust to this level of light. There is no need for the blindfold and you can do a light physical activity if you’d like to.” Georgiou’s eyes begin to twinkle at this. “However, should you want to go on a stroll, you still must wear your blindfold.” Georgiou nods, her mind already wandering and planning. “Did you encounter any problems yesterday?” asks Pollard routinely.

Georgiou mulls whether to tell the doctor of her accident yesterday. So far, the doctor proved to be accommodating and Michael trusts her implicitly, so she decides to expose it to her. “I did.” says Georgiou and she can see Michael straightening up from her previous slouched position. “I’ve lost the feeling in my right arm for a second or two.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me about it?” asks Michael quickly. “You should’ve told me.”

“You were not here,” Stab. “and then I was not in a mood to talk.” Again.

Michael turns her head in shame. The weight of yesterday’s foolishness just got doubled.

Pollard sits in silence waiting for the heated exchange to end and leaving herself out of personal matters. ”I assume the bruises on your right hand are a result of that.”

“You can say that.” knowing fully from the expression of the doctor what she meant.

“I told you things like this could happen. Next time if the Commander is not available, please contact me instead of hitting the wall. In the meantime, I’m putting a cortical monitor on you just in case and I’d like to do a full scan in the evening.”

“We’ll be there.” assures Michael, while Georgiou rolls her eyes in disgust.

“Right, I’ll be expecting you around 6:30 pm. Take care Captain. Commander.” says Pollard leaving the troubled duo behind.

After their respective morning preparations spent in complete silence, Michael sits down on a chair and tries to begin to work sensing that Georgiou still doesn’t want anything with her. But Georgiou has other ideas. “You can leave. Your science lab is better equipped for your work and you wouldn’t have to sit in semidarkness all day, your eyes will get tired.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Then let me rephrase it. I don’t want you to be here.” says Georgiou forcefully.

“What if something happens, like yesterday?”

“I’m directly connected to the doctor, I’m sure she is alerted should something arise. And this time I can see and I can do something against it. You can go.”

Michael still sits stubbornly.

Georgiou stands up poised “Do you want me to throw you out?”

Michael finally gives in. “I don’t want to fight. But I’ll be back by 12:30 for lunch.”

“Deal.” accepts Georgiou.

Right after Michael leaves Georgiou begins to do some light exercise to release some of the tension. Then she dresses up as the good Captain Georgiou, Starfleet uniform and all and walks out of her room. When the sudden, intense light reaches her eyes, she immediately shuts it in pain and turns back to her door.

“Captain? Is there something I could help you with?” asks the crewman guarding her door.

“Yes, actually you can.” begins Georgiou in a humbled tone. “I really need to stretch my legs so I thought that a light walking could do wonders but it might prove difficult in this state.” and she indicates toward her eyes.

The two crewmen guarding look at each other silently communicating what to do. “It’s no problem Ma’am. Commander Burnham ordered us to assist you should you require any help.” says the crewman and he lightly touches the arm of Georgiou to help her out. At first Georgiou recoils and has a sudden urge to hit the crewman but she stops herself. The crewman reads the stress immediately and explains his intentions to Georgiou. “Captain if I may, I’ll put your hand on my arm so you could easily sense our direction. You set the pace, tell me where you want to go, and I’ll lead you there.”

Georgiou nods and begins walking with the crewman down the corridor. “We go to the shuttlebay, I need something from my shuttle.”

“Understood, Captain.” acknowledges the crewman.

“Crewman, I have to say you are doing a good job.” notes Georgiou after they reach the turbolift.

“Thank you, Ma’am. I used to help out my grandparents like this.” replies the crewman.

“Are you implying that I’m old?” asks Georgiou is jest.

“No Ma’am, I’m just listing my previous experiences to prove you my capabilities and confidence in this assignment are well founded.”

Georgiou laughs out. “Smooth, very smooth. What’s your name crewman?”

“Ensign David Paris, Ma’am.”

“Well Ensign Paris, if you continue to call me Ma’am, then I’ll take it as an offense to my age. Let’s just stay with Captain.”

“Understood M .. Captain. Captain, may I ask you something?”

Georgiou nods as they turn into another corridor, still trying to squint her eyes against the light to be able to see something instead of closing it and leaving herself completely lead by the Ensign.

“Any one of us would’ve retrieved whatever you miss from the shuttle, why bother getting it yourself?”

“Because there are only a few persons on this ship with high enough clearance to even touch it.”

“I see.” answers Paris. “And we’re here. Do you need help getting in?”

“No, stay outside I’ll be back in two minutes.” replies Georgiou. She steps into the shuttle and immediately turns the lights down to a bearable level. She sits on the pilot’s chair to take respite from the headache that emerged two minutes ago and to retrieve the item she came looking for. The secret panel under the chair hiding her encryption chip only requires a practiced hand and she slides the chip into one of her pockets. Georgiou takes a deep breath to fortify herself against the blinding light waiting for her outside. _You can do it. It’s just pain, nothing new,_ she thinks to herself.

“Ensign, we can go back.”

“Yes, Captain. Would you like a detour or should we go back directly?” asks the Ensign politely.

Georgiou thinks for a second, considering her need to move but the headache is getting worse by seconds and she wants to be back in her quarters before she would be unable to move. “I’m getting tired, unfortunately the doctor warned me about this. Let’s go back the way we came.”  

On their way back, a sudden searing pain flashes through Georgiou and she stops holding onto the Ensign to not buckle.

“Captain!” Paris grabs Georgiou to steady her, but then Georgiou twists her arm out of his grasp and leans on the closest wall for support.

“Why can’t I see?” asks Georgiou, breathing heavily and clasping her head.

When Paris tries to help her up, she shoves him away in anger. “Leave me alone and get Captain Maddox!” grunts Georgiou as she is slowly sliding to the floor.

“There is no one aboard named Maddox, Captain.” says Paris. At her confusion Paris immediately reaches for his communicator calling Burnham. “Commander Burnham, please come to Corridor 3, Section 4, Deck 3 immediately. Captain Georgiou is in distress, but she is confused and doesn’t want me near.”

“On my way.” says Michael and she runs out of her lab.

“Williams, get your ass to my location now.” orders Paris through his communicator to the other guard.

When he spots some crewmen hanging around, he orders them to leave and he tells Williams do the same thing on the other side of the corridor. He understands the need to keep a Captain’s condition under covers as much as possible, his father taught him that. “Commander Burnham will be here in any minute.” says Paris in an attempt to calm Georgiou down.

“Michael?” asks Georgiou obviously still in pain.

“Yes.” answers Paris as gently as possible.

Michael arrives at the scene running “What happened Ensign?”

“She wanted to go for a stroll, when we were on our way back, she doubled in pain. Then she began asking about her injury and someone named Captain Maddox.”    

Michael closes her eyes, _time to pull out some lies_. “Captain Maddox, was the first captain she served under.” explains Michael. Burnham opens her communicator and calls the doctor. “Doctor Pollard, I’ll bring Captain Georgiou in in a minute, she has some sort of headache.”

“I was just about to call you Commander about her condition. We’re ready.”

“Thank you, Ensign, I’ll deal with her now. Go back to your station. After a visit in the sickbay there is a high chance we’ll be back in her room.”

“Aye, Ma’am.” and Paris steps back a few paces, but he stays to shoo people away from their location and indicating Williams to mimic his actions.

Burnham takes note on the distance of the two guards as she approaches Georgiou. She crouches down to her level and gently begins. “Mother, it’s me Michael.” Georgiou looks up at the voice but as she opens her eyes, the incoming light inflicts another round of pain as if someone would torment her with white-hot needles.

“What’s happening to me?” asks Georgiou weakly, the pain chipping away her strength, her hand clutches Michael’s arm to feel her presence.

“We’ve to figure it out. Can you stand?” and Michael slides her arms under Georgiou for support.

“No. Don’t!” cries out Georgiou, and she sinks back feeling dizziness taking over.

Based on the pale complexion of Georgiou, they have no time to argue. “This is going nowhere.” Michael shakes head.  “Computer, site-to-site transport to sickbay, two persons. Energise.” orders Burnham.

As soon as they materialise in the sickbay Michael helps Georgiou up on a bed, and Pollard erects the privacy screen around them, turning down the lights as well. “What’s going on Doctor?” asks Burnham her hands resting on Georgiou’s arm acting as an anchor for Georgiou to not lash out on anyone around her as the doctor examines her patient.

“This is similar to a migraine, Commander. The abundant light her nerves cannot yet process combined with her brain trauma caused it. My guess would be, she didn’t adhere to wearing a blindfold outside her room.”

“She also had some older memories resurfacing.” whispers Michael to the doctor attempting to say as little as possible, as low as possible to not upset Georgiou or to confuse her anymore.

Pollard squints at Burnham and quickly scans Georgiou. “There is a slight misalignment in her brainwaves, most likely caused by the migraine. I’ll administer some pain relivers and anti-nausea medicine. Make sure she lies down to sleep as soon as you’re back. I’ll do another scan in the evening as planned to see if there is some improvement.”

Pollard gives Georgiou a concoction to help her pain to subside. “How are you feeling, Emperor?” asks the doctor tentatively.

“I’m not feeling sick anymore.” and Georgiou clenches the sheets under her as a wave of agonising headache hits her again. “But I can barely see and the strength of pain diminished only a little.”

“I promise it will get better, the pain reliever will work gradually, give it a minute.” assures Pollard and indicates to Burnham that she wants to speak with her privately. They step out of the privacy area. “Commander, I also gave her a mild sedative to get her to sleep. There is nothing on the scans that would indicate a long-lasting effect on her memory. After the headache is gone, her memory should come back, especially now that she has some vision to assess her surroundings.” explains Pollard.

Michael quickly programs a transporter order to Georgiou’s quarters to expose their current situation the least to Georgiou. Then she steps beside Georgiou, helping her out of the bed, putting Georgiou’s left arm around her shoulder, while she holds on her waist to steady her. She couldn’t help but notice how frail Georgiou is now, the way she allows herself to be held, compared to the larger than life, unconquerable presence she usually radiates. Compared to her first day looking after Georgiou, this feels more intimate in a sense, that most likely she reserves such affections only to her daughter. “Computer, execute order Burnham alpha.”

Inside Georgiou’s room, Michael quickly turns the lights down to 15% - _the less she sees the better_ \- and leads Georgiou to the bed. “I’ll help you out of your clothes, you need rest.” Michael desperately hopes that Georgiou didn’t decided to go commando, while she focuses on her task to undress Georgiou.

Georgiou accepts Michael’s aid but her calculating mind not stops despite the lingering pain. “Why am I not wearing my armour, and why isn’t this uniform made of leather?” inquires Georgiou as Michael guide her arms from the jacket.

Just to be sure Michael discards her own jacket, so Georgiou wouldn’t notice. “You couldn’t wear them because of your injury.” explains Michael at her best while still obscuring whatever she can.

“You’re not telling me something.” mulls Georgiou. “What happened to me? And what’s bothering you?” she inquires, but still complies to Michael hands as she lies her down on the bed, distinctly remembering the words of the doctor that needs to sleep.

“What’s bothering me?” Michael feigns anger, while removing Georgiou’s boots, throwing them away in the process. “Don’t you hear yourself, Mother?”

Georgiou just stares at her blankly. “What?”

“You don’t remember!” says Michael a little louder than intended, shocking herself and Georgiou as well. “I’m sorry Mother, that was uncalled for.” whispers Michael and she help Georgiou out of her pants. “I’m worried, that’s all.”

“Is that why you’re undressing me and not a slave? What happened Michael?”

The best lies are always founded on truth. “There was an accident, I almost lost you.”

“Was it really one?”

Michael sighs, “No, it wasn’t. The assailant got caught but she was killed in the process.” Burnham pulls a chair beside Georgiou’s bed.

“Are you sure about, that this was an act of a lone rebel?” asks Georgiou suspiciously.

“I’ve made a thorough investigation, there are no proofs of a companion.”

“But you’re not convinced.” deduces Georgiou.

“I wouldn’t be sitting here otherwise, don’t you think?”

Georgiou accepts the answers as she doesn’t have the energy to stay awake any longer.

Michael contemplates sitting beside Georgiou’s bed for about an hour, then she replicates something to munch on. An idea forms in her mind and she begins to work. It has been long since she used her xenoanthropology knowledge for anything.

Around 6 pm, Georgiou wakes up to find Michael hunched over in the chair beside her bed, wearing Terran uniform studying the PADD before her profusely, and an uncharacteristic darkness fills the room.

“What are you working on in this darkness?” asks Georgiou groggily.

“A new equipment design, I think I’ll able to finish it by tomorrow. How is your headache, Mother?”

“Non-existent. The doctor gave me good medicine. It was like being in an agonizer.”

Michael furrows her brows. _Why does she know what it is like being tortured in those monstrous devices?_ but she doesn’t dare to ask in case she should know about it. “It also probably has to do something with you not using your eyes for a few hours and getting a healthy amount of sleep. The doctor told you not to overdo it.”

“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” quips Georgiou. She sits up and Michael is quick on her feet to help her. She thinks about playing the Emperor part a bit longer, enjoying Michael’s attentiveness, but some pranks must not be overused. “You can stop wearing that uniform.”

“Why would I …” starts Michael but she is interrupted by Georgiou.

“We are in Federation space and you’re searching for your brother.”

Michael releases a sigh she didn’t realised she held in. “Please Philippa, tell me that it wasn’t one of your bad jokes you played in the morning.”

“No. I vaguely remember saying those things. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t see anything and I couldn’t separate what was real and what not. I guess I fell back on what I knew instinctively.”

Michael stands to pick up clothes for Georgiou. “Are you hungry? It is almost dinner time.”

“When should we go back to sickbay?”

“In about 20 minutes. If you’re ready.”

“Then I’ll eat after.” then after a pause. “You didn’t recycle my uniform, did you?”

“I did. But I’ve checked the pockets before. What’s on the chip?” asks Michael, putting the chip on the right nightstand, then she pulls the Terran badge of Michael Burnham from her breastplate handing it to Georgiou.

Georgiou keeps the badge in her hand for a few seconds, thumbing the engraving then she puts it beside the chip. “Communication encryption key.” says Georgiou, suggesting that it is the most information she is willing to share with Michael.

* * *

“Ah Captain, the Commander notified me that you’re feeling better.” welcomes Pollard them. “Please lie down.” instructs the doctor. “The scans show no difference in brain structure compared to the previous images, and the wave pattern seem to have aligned itself back to normal. I’m however still concerned about your photosensitivity. If you’re feeling all right then tomorrow try to increase the brightness to 40%, but nothing over than that.”

“Doctor, I don’t think that this amount of caution is necessary. I’ll try 50%, no matter what. I need to improve.”

“I understand your need for it but if you overexert yourself you can cause permanent damage.”

“Ah, Doctor. I have an idea.” interjects Michael. “I’ve been working on special lenses for the Captain, they can be programmed to a level of brightness not to be exceeded. Adding one more routine to further adjust it by a nerve response is not a problem. This way Philippa could even leave her room without being exposed to too high level of brightness.”

“All right Commander, you can give it a try, but only tomorrow.”

Michael nods eagerly and looks at Georgiou who just stares at her.

“Well if there is nothing else, then I suppose I don’t need to visit tomorrow morning, therefore next assessment is scheduled in 36 hours.”

* * *

“When I woke up, you were working on those lenses right?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you care?” asks Georgiou unexpectedly, as she prepares dinner, this time something that finally needs some utensils.

“I made the decision to bring you here. I’m responsible for your welfare.”

“Where was this responsibility yesterday?” mocks Georgiou, sitting down to eat.

“Unsure whether you wanted me here or not.” replies Michael in honesty.

Georgiou sits back measuring Michael up. Every time she is facing this Michael her mind and heart wage a war on what to say, what to show. While thinking back to her thoughts the previous night, she mindlessly touches her bruised knuckles. It hurts less than yesterday, just a reminder of her quick temper which will fade in a few days on its own. As she considers her reaction, she cannot help but notice that her initial anger towards Michael has faded, only her memories keep reminding her, but the feeling evades her. In retrospect Michael’s betrayal is comparable to her bruises. A stupid mistake to learn from. So, this time she decides to indulge her heart to shine while simultaneously sating her mind. “You’re the only one in this universe in whose hands I dare to put my life,” starts gently “but yesterday I had the feeling that I’ve made the same bad decision again by trusting you Michael Burnham.” twisting the knife in Michael for good measure. Then she continues to eat not even waiting for a reply.

Michael is stunned, her food forgotten in front of her. Her mind begins to analyse every word Georgiou said. How could she not see this before, when Georgiou admitted this two days ago? She is her medical proxy because she doesn’t trust anyone but her. She admitted trusting her, something that would have had fatal consequences in the Empire. And of course, she’d to mess it up by not showing up. _No, she said she had the feeling_ , had. “Do you still trust me?”

“Do you want to be absolved of your sins?” asks Georgiou theatrically.

“No. I’ll bear penalty you deem enough for as long as you want. I just want you to understand, that I’m here, that I mean no harm to you, unless you make me retaliate.”

“I’m still a bit offended by your actions, but I do trust you.” Georgiou finalises her words and Michael’s heart leaps in joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think!  
> About 3-4 more chapters to go.
> 
> And happy new revolution around the Sun (according to the Gregorian calendar)!


	14. It is called intelligence for a reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choose your weapon.

“How does it feel? Does it bother you?” inquires Michael.

“Your hovering bothers me. It fits perfectly.”

“Now onto the controls, I set it to 40% first as the doctor said and we test it. Ready?”

“Just do it.”

“Computer, increase lights to 100% gradually within two minutes.” commands Michael.

Despite the increasing brightness Georgiou can only see the preset semi-darkness. “Good job, Michael. Now test it with 50%.”

“Okay. Changing settings.” says Michael waiting for the reply from Georgiou. “Well?”

“It works. For today, I’d like to keep it this way. And now” Georgiou puts her hands on her hips “you go and change into your running clothes.”

“What?”

“We go running. I’m becoming restless. I need to do something more than pacing around the room.”

Michael laughs “Fine but we won’t do anything more than a light jog.” says Michael as she walks into the shower to change.

“Why? Afraid that I’ll leave you in the proverbial dust?”

“No.” shouts Michael from the shower then adds adjusting her shirt and putting on her shoes “I’m afraid Doctor Pollard won’t be lenient the next time I end up on one of the beds if I let you do anything more.”

* * *

“Today, we go to the gym.” states Georgiou confidently to Michael who is still not really awake yet at 6:30 in the morning.

“But we went running yesterday two times!” whines Michael.

“Yes, but your hand-to-hand combat needs improvement.”

“Can’t we just skip it and agree that you’ll kick my ass no matter what?”

“Don’t make me pull you there in front of everybody.” warns Georgiou lightly.

“Okay. I’m moving.”

* * *

“Choose one.” and Georgiou motions over an assortment of handheld weapons.

“I thought we’ll practice hand-to-hand combat?”

“When you’re out in the field it is more likely that you’ll use some object if you don’t have a phaser in your hand.” explains Georgiou. “Chose one, I’ll fight with the same weapons.” Michael picks up the escrima sticks and Georgiou nods. “It is a good choice, though you’ll most likely end up only with finding one.” Michael immediately regrets waking up.

* * *

“Let’s try what I’d showed you.” tells Georgiou to Michael. Without even waiting for a reply Georgiou charges toward Michael, who is trying to deflect the flurry of attacks from every available direction. “Good, you’re getting faster.” acknowledges Georgiou and it boosts Michael confidence well enough to counterattack as Georgiou shown her before and she manages to make Georgiou drop one of the weapons. However, victory is hard earned especially against someone like the Emperor, as she uses Michael’s momentary stop in her success to kick her legs out and push Michael to the ground face forward. “But not fast enough.” says Georgiou triumphantly.

In the meantime, a crew member drops by the gym obviously with the intent to train on the mats. “Oh, I’m sorry to disturb you.” and he decides to leave the Commander and the Captain, but Michael’s voice stops him.

“Don’t leave Ensign,” and Michael pushes herself up from the mat putting the escrima sticks back to their place, “we’re just finishing.”

“Non-sense, Number One,” Georgiou shifts her tone to the Captain’s “we’ve only been here for an hour.” protests Georgiou.

“And you’ve managed to floor me 27 times. You can stay and practice with the other crew members, but I’ll just sit it out.”

“Not a bad idea. Ensign, how about a friendly round of sparring?” asks Georgiou the surprised Ensign, as his friends walk in as well.

The Ensign looks to his crewmates then to Burnham waiting for an approval. Words spread fast with the arrival of Captain Georgiou just as the news of her accident. Everybody was aware that she was in coma, that she had to be in her quarters because of some visual impairment, and that in last few days she was occasionally visible, but nobody knew the extent of her injuries, so getting a permission from Commander Burnham seemed a good idea for the Ensign.

“Be my guest.” says Michael friendly and she retreats to the corner behind Georgiou.

The Ensign is fast on his feet to the mat, this is not an opportunity he’d miss. He starts the fight high on energy, but Georgiou quickly erodes the confidence of the Ensign and he finds his arm and upper body twisted in Georgiou’s hold within 8 seconds.

“Never underestimate your opponent.” advises Georgiou, then releases the Ensign. “Is there anybody else who’d like to train with me? If you wish you can even use escrima sticks or a bo staff as a weapon. The others are too dangerous, I’m afraid I’d hurt someone seriously.” taunts Georgiou the others standing around. The response is immediate, they are lining up.

Georgiou’s challenge spreads fast and soon the gym is overflowing with off-duty crew. When the first alien crewman arrives, a sudden abhorrent emotion flares up in Georgiou and she looks back to Michael. Michael picks up Georgiou’s water bottle, walks up closely to her and she lowers her tone so others wouldn’t be able to hear her. “Play nice, no broken bones, no lasting injuries, this is just a friendly practice.” says Michael. Georgiou drinks from the bottle so Michael’s action wouldn’t stand out, but her eyes glare at her. “I’m still here, watching your back.” adds Michael and she takes the bottle.

* * *

Apparently, the news of the ass-kicking Captain in the gym reaches even the bridge and Pike decides to see it for himself. A cadet runs beside him almost shoving him away on the corridor and he halts the young woman. “Whoa cadet, where’s the fire?”

“I’m sorry Captain, I was just on my way to gym. Captain Georgiou has been practicing with the crew for about an hour now, I wouldn’t want to miss it.” at Pike’s dismissing nod, she runs and Pike follows.

When he arrives, Georgiou swings her staff and an Andorian Lieutenant on the mat find himself sprawled on his back, Georgiou’s staff directed at his neck. _It looks like she’s feeling better_ , muses Pike to himself.

Michael on the other side furrows her brow and tilts her head to the side in observation. She noticed earlier that Georgiou prefers to use her left hand, though to an untrained eye it is imperceptible but from the first fights she’d set out to observe Georgiou’s technique to learn some of her moves. When Georgiou overtakes the Andorian and she precisely stops her staff an inch from the Lieutenant’s throat Georgiou’s right hand trembles slightly and she quickly draws the staff back to allow the Andorian to get up. _Shit_.

As the Andorian leaves the mat, Georgiou notices Pike. “Captain Pike, would you like to join?” teases Georgiou knowing fully that the Captain will decline.

“No, thank you, Captain. I’m just enjoying the view. You’ve managed to gather half the crew here, I was just curious why we had to adjust the inertial dampeners because of the shift in weight and change the rate of the environment controls.” jests Pike.

“Is there anybody else, who’d like another round?” asks Georgiou the crowd around her, but they are silent hoping that somebody will actually rise to the occasion but their pride is broken. “Well since nobody is willing.” raises Georgiou her voice and she turns to Michael. “Number One, how about one last round?” and the crowd begins to cheer.

Disregarding the crew’s glee Michael tries to object “We have an appointment with Doctor Pollard, to evaluate whether or not you’re fit for duty.” And the crew around begins to murmur, not only they’ve been beaten down by a slender 5’4” female captain 15-25 years older than them, but she’s not even fit for duty.

“A few minutes won’t matter, and I’m sure the crew would appreciate your abilities.” Georgiou says affectionately.

“Fine. It’s not like it matters that you’ll defeat me for the 28th time today.” huffs Michael dragging herself to the mat to the mirth of the spectators.

They prepare for the fight, both going for escrima sticks again, while the crew falls into silence and they try to leave as much space as possible for them. This time Michael attacks first, trying to overwhelm Georgiou with her attacks but she’s is a fraction slower and Georgiou not only deflects all her hits, but she manages to land a hit on her side as well.

While Michael puts her hand on her bruise Georgiou turns away for a second and Michael uses this to charge again. She expected Georgiou to notice her but she didn’t and her unexpected move renders Georgiou to drop one of her sticks. The crowd cheers up; this is the first time anybody could actually gain vantage against Captain Georgiou. Michael however is not happy. _She didn’t see it coming. She should’ve. There is something not right with her vision_ , thinks Michael to herself, while planning her next attack. She doesn’t want to end up on her face again, especially not with crew around.

Georgiou is also quick to think, she grabs her remaining stick with her right hand using it as she would use a sword and she retaliates to Michael. One of her attacks aims for Michael’s left shoulder and Michael notices the strength in it, so she holds up both of her sticks in defence, but this move leaves Michael vulnerable at front. Georgiou kicks her in her stomach in one step and she takes a hold on Michael’s left arm in the second twisting a stick out of Michael’s grasp claiming it as her own, then discards it. Now they have equal footing again. The crew around them falls silent.

For a few seconds they circle each other before the third round of attacks. Again, Michael steps forward to hit but Georgiou sweeps her legs under her and she is on the floor on her back. Georgiou jumps on her securing her legs, her left arm holding her down on her upper chest, while her right holds the stick’s end to Michael’s throat as she would do it with a sword’s tip.

Instead of getting up Georgiou stays on Michael, her expression changing from mirth to confusion. Georgiou looks around the people gathered around them, as noticing that some of them are aliens, confusion shift to malice and she quickly draws back her attention to Michael, her muscles tense up ready to fight for her life.

Michael recognises the variations in Georgiou’s demeanour as the Emperor emerges from behind the mask of Captain Georgiou. Before things could escalate, she calls on Georgiou. “Philippa.” Michael utters her name gently.

Hearing her name from Michael’s lips makes Georgiou to focus more on their surroundings and realise their situation. She nods and stands up, offering her hand to Michael. “Good job, Number One, you’ve lasted longer than anybody else.” compliments Georgiou and she pulls up Michael. The crew around them applauds their fight oblivious to their private exchange.

“Doctor Pollard expects us in 15 minutes, we better get going.” says Michael loudly enough for the crew hear and they slowly disperse. Michael picks up their belongings and quietly heads back to their room with Georgiou by her side.

* * *

“You’re not well.” exclaims Michael as soon as they’re back in the confines of Georgiou’s quarters. She had to clench her teeth together on their way to not cause a scene with an outburst like that.

“I’m well enough.” replies Georgiou, not wanting to continue on the subject she disappears in the shower. When she is finished, Michael tries to argue with her, but her expression tells Michael to stay silent. “Go shower. We have 7 minutes.” orders Georgiou.

* * *

“Captain, Commander, we got a bit busy today.” notes Pollard about the line outside sickbay. “I’ve heard you’d made quite the impression on the crew. Literally.”

Georgiou nods and follows the Doctor inside. At their arrival the already present, bruised crewmen jump off the beds all claiming to come back later after the Doctor is finished with the Captain in respect.

“So, is there anything to report?” asks Pollard, and based on their body language she expects a dispute.

“No.” “Yes.” replies Georgiou and Michael simultaneously.

Pollard looks between them, Burnham is furious and Georgiou is throwing daggers at Burnham. She shakes her head. “All right.” sighs Pollard. “What is the problem Commander?”

“She still sometimes loses function in her right arm, her peripheral vision is decreased and she has lapses in memory.” lists Michael.

“Would you like to comment on that Captain?”

“I only have momentary loss in strength and it is not a complete loss. You’ve said it yourself Doctor, that it takes longer to heal. As for my memory, I got confused for a second then I’ve remembered. And yes, I’ve lost about 5° of my peripheral vision range on both sides. I tested it yesterday without the lenses.”

“See?” says Michael heatedly to Pollard. “She is not fine.”

Pollard scans Georgiou and looks up the results, comparing it to previous scans. Then she sums up. “The Captain is right, her visible area decreased a little, but nothing that would warrant for a medical intervention. As for the other problems, they are within acceptable range concerning her injury. The brain needs time to fully heal.“

“But I could hit you because of it.” objects Michael more to Georgiou than to Pollard.

“I will compensate. I’ve accepted the loss.”

“But …”

Georgiou loses her temper “It’s better than the alternative!” says Georgiou almost shouting. The surrounding staff winces, then scatters away from them.

Michael lowers head in defeat. “I’m sorry.” she whispers, her voice broken.

Georgiou rolls her eyes and looks at the doctor. Pollard steps a bit back to offer some privacy. Georgiou takes a gentle hold of Michael’s chin in her hand and she raises it to connect their eyes. “It is a small price for your life, that I’m more than willing to pay Michael.” says Georgiou tenderly. Her look conveys everything that Michael could ever hope for from the Emperor.

Michael sighs. “Doctor Pollard, is she fit for duty then?”

Pollard steps forward. “Yes. I’ve already signed her off.”

* * *

“I’ll pack and be out of your hair in a few minutes.” says Michael to Georgiou as they arrive back to her quarters. Georgiou just observes Michael packing. When Michael is finished packing, she looks back at Georgiou trying to formulate a sentence with a heavy heart.

“Dinner at 7?” asks Georgiou.

“I’ll be here.” assents Michael and she grabs her bag leaving Georgiou’s quarter.

* * *

“Hey, how things are going?” asks Tilly joyfully from Michael during their lunch.

Michael shakes her head “I don’t know, Tilly. I don’t exactly know where we stand, I’m worried about her condition and I still don’t know why she is here.”

“But the doctor cleared her, didn’t she?”

“She did, though she still has some problems.”

“And what does she say about it?”

“That she’s fine …” Michael turns to sombre “and that she’d rather have these injuries than to let me get injured or worse.”

“I’d say that coming from her this is huge.” Tilly stretches the last word. “At least you’re not on square one anymore.”

“Yeah, maybe on square three.” answers Michael with a smile.

“So now what?”

“We’ll arrive in the destination sector tomorrow. We’ll scan for more evidence and we’ll see where do we go from there.”

“And with Georgiou?”

“Dinner at 7. Hopefully it will go better that our first one.”

* * *

“Captain Pike, I’d like to have a word with you.” announces herself Georgiou on the bridge.

“Why do I have the nagging feeling I might not like it?” asks Pike, but he leads them to his ready room.

“It depends.” and Georgiou hands him a PADD. “It’s dangerous but you can get your science officer back.” summarises Georgiou the information.

“Where did you get this?” asks Pike while studying the intel.

“There’s a reason why I was asked to help you out. I have good connections reaching into this side of the quadrant.” evades Georgiou.

“How current is this information?”

“I’ve received it an hour ago. Based on yesterday’s manifest we’re perfectly on time, the latest ship left the station 3 days ago, and the next one incoming is scheduled in two days. There should be no surprises on the number of the crew and about the equipment on the station. We can plan accordingly.”

“It will not be an easy feat.” notes Pike.

“No. But you have the best scientists on board the Federation can offer who can work under pressure and out on the field very well. With their ingenuity, these plans and my experience we can work something out.” says Georgiou praising the crew to gain the favour of Pike.

“I see your point.” musters Pike. “I call the Commanding officers for a meeting in 30 minutes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Last(ish) chapter is in process of writing, but I try not to rush it (and there's real life and stuff). Compared to my previous story I don't think I will write such detailed action scenes (it was tough to choreograph it, I've spent lots of time on visualising the movements that would work), but we'll see where the martial artist in me will be when I'm there.


	15. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double chapters, so no end notes.

“The way I see it, ” starts Pike “the plan can either be executed perfectly or end in a disaster. Either way, lives are at stake. Is there anybody against it?” asks Pike.

Saru looks at Michael whose face is full with determination, the Emperor’s eyes shine in conceitedness and Stamets looks like he’s about to object.

“Just a few questions, if I may.” Stamets raises his hand. “How can we be sure that Spock is there? And why do we think that a Federation science station has its hands in a cookie jar?”

Georgiou is quick to answer. “For starters, 6 weeks ago, the crew manifest reported the arrival of a 27 years old, male, Human/Vulcan hybrid. Let’s just say there aren’t many of those. And second, the station has Federation signature, but there are no known scientific or any other kind of stations in this region under Federation flags.”

“And if they are, I don’t know, doing secret research for the Federation and we storm them? Then we’d fighting each other.”

“Lieutenant Stamets,” Georgiou turns to Stamets in impatience and Stamets takes a step back from his position, Tilly’s words, and the way she spoke about Georgiou’s menacing look is ringing in his hear. “my sources are aware of covert operations,” she leans closer to him and Michael prepares herself to pull Georgiou back if necessary, from hurting Stamets “this is not one.” pressing on each word.

Stamets gulps at the commanding voice and he marvels at the sheer strength her attitude carries despite Georgiou’s size. “OK. Do we know what this virus does?”

Georgiou turns back to her PADD. “No. We only know that different kind of Human/Alien hybrids went in an no one came out.” states Georgiou then looks around the table. “But I assume everyone here knows the importance of hybrids in biology.”

“Shit.” Stamets curses.

“Exactly.” confirms Georgiou.

Stamets steels himself “What do we need to make sure this plan will work?”

* * *

“Khmm,” Michael clears her throat “so this intel of yours, is it from _Them_?” and she sticks a potato of her fork.

Georgiou smiles “2 minutes, impressive.” and she takes a sip from her wine. “Yes.”

“What this virus is about?”

“They try to create a virus which can be engineered to different species, especially separating the Human genome.” says Georgiou as calm as she would tell a news report of a boring day.

“What? Who’s behind this?” Michael asks heatedly.

“We don’t know. But taking into account its potential disastrous effect on the Federation, Section 31 kept a close eye on them. And we’re in the vicinity.”

“Is this what you came here for?”

“I most certainly wasn’t tasked to save a lone science officer.” comes a dry response.

“What does Section 31 want with the virus?”

“It depends on what we’ll find.”

“And what do _you_ want with it, Philippa?”

Georgiou raises an elegant eyebrow at Michael.

“They are not here to oversee your actions …” draws Michael out.

Georgiou sighs deciding how much information should she share with Michael. She takes a sip of her wine and Michael takes it as sign that she should be listening. “The previous Emperor wanted a virus that could eliminate all non-Terrans. He thought of it as the easiest solution to establish once and for all our supremacy. No one would want to oppose us after it was used.”

“That’s horrible.” notes Michael.

Georgiou disregards Michael. “But he was arrogant and before it could’ve been tested the virus was stolen by an alien faction because he wasn’t careful enough.”

“What happened? And how many years before your reign was this anyway?” asks Michael interrupting Georgiou.

“If you halt me one more time, I won’t finish it.” warns Georgiou and Michael shuts her mouth theatrically. “The Risians reverse engineered the virus so it would only affect Terrans. When they were finished, the leader of the underground Risians opened every channel to the Empire to broadcast the events on Risa. I was sent there with 10 ships to quell the uprising, but we were late. The rebels dispersed the virus in the entire atmosphere to kill all Terran citizens on the planet, so they could take it back from us. But during the reprogramming of the virus, they made a small mistake and it turned out to be devastating.” Georgiou stops for a few seconds to gather her thoughts. “The virus affected all lifeforms. Everyone begun showing symptoms of the virus within minutes, they dropped to the ground, but even after 12 hours no one died, they were in incomparable agony, their internal organs slowly failing. Remember, they broadcasted everything.” Just as Michael would ask a question, Georgiou hushes her with a look, she is still not finished. “The Emperor was jumping in glee, and ordered me to send a team to take enough samples from the virus. Those people down on Risa were still alive slowly dying in their blood and vomit.” Georgiou shudders as memories resurface. “I could not stand for it. I’ve ordered the ships for a planetary strike. We even lit up the atmosphere to get rid of the virus. When the dust settled, science drones were sent out to check the presence of the virus, but it was destroyed, no samples to take home.”

All throughout the story Michael face changes from interested to terrified then to devastated. “It must have been a horrifying experience.” remarks Michael.

“I vowed to myself never to let anything like that to happen again.” says Georgiou.

“What happened after? You denied the Emperor’s orders.”

“And I’ve spent an entire month in agonizer booth only to be let out to eat and every two days to sleep for 5 hours.” replies Georgiou dryly.

Michael pales “You what? And you survived? I’ve read that the booths are not meant to be used for that prolonged period of time. Then how did you become the Emperor?”

“I’ve gained a lot of sympathisers in the army, who were forced to listen and witness the suffering of those people on Risa.”

“So, what are your plans with this virus?” asks Michael slowly piecing together the information.

“It depends on what will we find.” answers Georgiou cryptically.

“You’ve said that before. Anything more specific?” asks Michael assuming that Georgiou doesn’t tell her everything.

“No. Anymore mission related question?”

“I have a lot, but I don’t think you’d tell me the truth.” concedes Michael with a snarky answer.

Despite Michael’s soft voice Georgiou slams down her utensils on the table, the story on the destruction of Risa still affecting her usually collected demeanour, and Michael regards her questioningly. “I’ve never lied to you.” ascertains Georgiou.

Michael puts down her utensils as well, but in a composed manner. Michael considers her options, she can either challenge it or accept it. She decides on the former. “Really?” asks and she notices how Georgiou squints at her, she has to choose her words or this dinner in end like their first one. She needs a clear statement to question, which supposedly doesn’t have hidden meaning but she has to deep dig in her memories to come up with one. To stall Georgiou, she instead asks for the story behind the outburst, there must be one. “You’re very adamant on this. What happened?”

Georgiou stands up and walks to the viewport, not being able to sit anymore as painful memories wash over her. Then she begins another story. “Months passed since I took my Michael under my wings, but she still wasn’t showing any emotion. She was dutiful, did everything she was told to but she never even started a conversation. On the first year anniversary of her parents’ death during dinner she spoke up. She told me that her parents told her that the siren she hears is just a drill, there is nothing to be afraid of, then her mother told her to hide in the closet in the parents’ room. She was only 6 at that time and she looked into my eyes with determination and told me that her parents lied to her and that she took notice that I’ve always told her truth. She asked if I’ll ever lie to her. My heart clenched at her broken tone and promised her to always tell the truth.” Georgiou stops and smiles at the memory “Michael jumped from her seat, hugged me and cried. For the first time in a year she showed what it meant for her being with me. I was overjoyed. I vowed to myself to keep that promise for the rest of my life.”

“That doesn’t mean you keep the same promise to me.” Michael picks on the Emperors words.

Georgiou shuts her eyes, her back still to Michael. “I, Philippa Georgiou promise that I’ll always tell the truth to Michael Burnham. Those were my exact words.” she turns back to Michael. “Your name is Michael Burnham, isn’t it?”

Michael stares at Georgiou her mind working hard to keep up with the new information. Then her she remembers something. “But you’ve lied before. You’ve said that you have nothing to live for. Then you saved me without any consideration for your own life.”

Georgiou takes in a deep breath, then walks back to the table and sits back, a slight shimmer in her eyes are the only tell-tale of her emotional turmoil _. This Michael clearly needs some education in complex communication_. “Not having anything to live for and willing to die for something are not the same.”

Michael tries to argue but after thinking over, she has to admit that Georgiou is right.

Georgiou can see on Michael’s facial expressions how the inner debate in is settled within her. She continues eating, then a cheeky smile appears on her face “Are you seeing anyone or are you still dwelling on the Klingon? Because I’ve seen a few handsome officers who’d be interested in you.” inquires Georgiou out of the blue to distract themselves from their previous conversation.

Michael is still wrapping her head around what Georgiou told her and now she throws her this curveball. She rolls her eyes and whispers “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.”

* * *

“Oh sweetie, come in.” ushers Amanda in Michael.

“We agreed not calling me that while others are around.” says Michael with a smile.

“Well, there is barely anybody on the corridors at this time, so I took my liberty.” quips Amanda, indicating Michael to sit down and handing her a mug of tea. “What’s on your mind, Michael?”

Michael looks inside the mug, the rising steam catching her attention to focus. “A lot of things.” she sighs. “I have to be honest I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I don’t know whether Spock is healthy or not, I don’t know how much resistance the security will put up, I don’t know whether we’ll come back, ” then she falls silent and finishes the sentence “ and I don’t know what her plans are.”

“That’s a lot of unknowns.” starts Amanda in understanding. “But you were never the one, who shies away from the uncharted territories.” When Michael tries to speak up, Amanda raises her hand. “Let me finish.” at Michael’s look she continues. “I’m confident in you and in your colleagues’ competence to succeed. I’ve read what all of you’ve accomplished and you’ve told me stories about I couldn’t have read about. Yes, I suppose there might be bumps on the road but you all will be responding to it to the best of your abilities.”

“But there are too many variables.” counters Michael.

“That is something we call life, honey.”

“How can you be so calm?” asks Michael.

“I am not calm. I am undoubtedly worrying about your mission and I’m terrified of losing both of my children.” admits Amanda with a heavy heart. “But I also know, how resilient both of you are, and that you’ll fight against all odds.” Michael smiles at her mother’s words. “And you have a kick-ass team.” adds Amanda to lighten up the mood.

Michael laughs out. “Yeah, but I guess my ass will be kicked tomorrow.”

“Why would that be?”

“Because _she_ and I see may see things differently.”

“Ah, I see. You are more conflicted about her, than the actual dangers of the mission. You know why? Because you trust your team and yourself in action. But you cannot see behind the mask of the Emperor.”

Michael tilts her head to the side a bit “Thus, the ass-kicking.”

“Michael, look at me.” commands Amanda gently. “As far as I got to know her, there are two critical points, which you can count on considering her. One, she’ll always has a plan that you won’t like, because she’s Terran. And two, she wouldn’t allow you to get seriously hurt and let’s make it to three, she can take care of herself.”

“She almost died last time saving me.”

“It shows her priorities. And think about it this way, you’re the one who knows her best, you’re the only one who can reason with her. Now, go back to your quarters, don’t think about tomorrow, and have at least a decent night of sleep.” claps Amanda her hands.

* * *

“Hey, Saru, sorry for the late visit, but do you have a minute?” asks Michael at Saru’s door.

“Sure, do come in.” invites Saru.

“Could we establish a private channel to communicate tomorrow?”

“Do you think the Emperor is up to something?”

“Yes. She said some things that raised an alarm and I thought that it might come in handy. Also, I’ll sneak a miniature tracker on her clothes. Just in case.”

“I approve of your foresight, though it probably would be easier had she not participate on the mission.”

“We can’t do that. We need her there and she wouldn’t accept a no.” sighs Michael.

“I am also glad that you’ve overcome her mind games.” says Saru with pride.

“It’s not a game, Saru. You didn’t experience it. In the Empire it is kill or be killed. That simple. And if you don’t want to kill everybody around you, you have to plan, you have to choose your words carefully. ” explains Michael in exasperation.

“But she is not in the Empire anymore.” quarrels Saru.

“Saru, I have killed Connor! I was either me or him.” shouts Michael, and she begins pacing in the room. “Hell, when I met the Emperor, she made me choose a Kelpien, and I thought she meant it to choose a personal slave, so I chose the one who saved me from Tyler. Only to be found out at the evening, that I was actually picking out him as my dinner! He looked exactly like you, Saru! Can you imagine?” Michael explains it in tears. She stops to wipe her face dry, walks up to Saru who can barely breath at the story he was told. “Ever since we came back from that dreadful universe, I always think about what others’ motivations are, I think about the dark corners where an unexpected assailant can hide. And I’ve only spent a few days there. She spent her entire life living in constant fear.” Michael stops her torrent of words, to let it all sink for Saru. “Look inside yourself. Doesn’t it remind of you of someone? It’s not something that she can turn off. Just like you, you can’t control your ganglia whenever you feel threatened.”

“I see your point.” gulps Saru “But, I still don’t trust her.”

Michael stays silent.

“Is there anything else?”

“No. I think that’s it.” Michael starts leaving, “And thank you. You’re a great help in keeping everything under radar.”

“I’d expose her in a heartbeat had it not been for you, Michael Burnham.” admits Saru.

Michael smiles and nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 


	16. Behind enemy lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can run, but you can never hide

Michael and Georgiou walk down the corridor toward the transporter room, and Saru catches up with them. “Captain, a word if I may?”

Michael looks at Saru, who indicates her to go on her way.

Georgiou turns around irritated “What is it, Mr. Saru?”

“I wanted to remind you of my promise.” says Saru in warning.

Georgiou leans closer intimidating Saru. “It goes both ways, Mr. Saru.” then she follows Michael into the transporter room.

“What was that about?” whispers Michael to Georgiou, who shrugs in response. “Fine. Have you checked the harness? Can you move in it freely enough?”

“You’re fussing.” warns Georgiou.

Saru walks in and takes a note on the present crew. “Captain, we’re ready.”

“Science Station 50, this is Captain Pike of the Federation Starship Discovery. We require technical assistance.” hails Pike.

“This is Dr. Andrews. What can I help you with Captain?” comes a faceless answer from the station.

“We’d multiple technical failures and our last power converter blew when we arrived in this region. Do you have a spare one, that we could use?”

“As it happens Captain, we have. I’ll instruct my engineer to ready it for transportation.”

“Thank you, Doctor. We’re ready when you’re.” and Pike looks around at the crew. “Be ready.”

“Discovery, we’re ready, lower your shields and we’ll transport it to your given coordinate.”

Pike motions for Lieutenant Owosekun to do on his command. “Mr. Saru, is everyone ready?”

Saru takes another look around. “Yes, Captain, we’re all set.”

Michael takes point and orders “Phasers to stun.”

“Lieutenant, lower the shields.” orders Pike and with arrival of the converter an away team transports over to the science station.

* * *

“Clear!” states Ensign Silek. They transported over to a small, empty maintenance area.

“All right everyone. We disable the security team next door first, then Lieutenant Commander Airiam will take over the security station. We don’t want too much attention, we only disable sensors and reroute feeds where it is critical. Then we split up. Silek, Davies you come with me to secure the office we need, to get Spock out. Paris, Montgomery you stay here with Airiam and make sure this station is secure. Captain Georgiou will get into the shaft from the security room, to reach Spock.” the team nod in acknowledgement. “Let’s go!”

Taking over the security room, goes without a hitch with only to guards stationed in. Paris and Montgomery secure the two guards just in case while Silik helps Georgiou to remove the panel covering the maintenance shaft on the roof.

“Airiam?” asks Michael.

“Ready when you’re Commander.” replies Airiam.

Michael steps up to Georgiou. “Forward, forward, left. After then forward and right with Spock.”

“You worry too much.” notes Georgiou, her voice sounds annoyed, but her glance is full of warmth.

Michael turns to the door, Silek and Davies lining up behind her, Georgiou pulls a chair below the shaft, ready to jump in it. “Closing the corridor separator and disabling the shaft sensors, now.” at Airiam’s the report Michael looks back at Georgiou jumping into the shaft, then she moves out with her team.

Georgiou crawls through the shaft first forward, then left. Below her a science team is intently working. She leaves a small detonator at the panel and moves toward her original destination. She attaches a coiler on the top of the shaft, connects her harness to the cable and she descends two levels. Two levels down, she pulls out a sensor to check the room’s inhabitants. The display shows one certain hybrid, she attaches a clamp on the surface so the plate wouldn’t fall and begins to cut it open.

When she is finished, she finds herself face-to-face with a surprised Spock. Georgiou smiles “Mr. Spock, I’m here to give you a lift.” and she stretches her hand to him.

“Captain Georgiou? But I thought …”

Georgiou rolls her eyes “Don’t believe everything you hear Mr. Spock. Now, if it makes you more comfortable Michael is probably waiting for us two levels up. But we need to hurry. Step into the hook of the cable and hang on.”

Spock looks into the shaft unsure of his method of escaping.

“It will hold. A whole team worked on it all night.” encourages Georgiou and Spock does as he is told. When they are pulled up to the level of the incursion team Georgiou sends Spock on his way.

“But what about you?” asks Spock.

“I still have a few things to do.”

“You could use my help. I’m healthy and Michael would never forgive me if I let something happen to you.” argues Spock.

“Both of you worry too much. I’ll be fine. Go Mr. Spock.” says Georgiou and she begins to crawl in the other direction. “Oh, and don’t worry about the explosion, it will be intentional.”

Spock furrows his brows but crawls to the room, Georgiou instructed him to.

Georgiou goes back to the lab she spotted, blows the shaft coverage, and throws in a flash grenade, stunning the scientists inside. She quickly knocks out two with precise kicks and she grabs the third. “Where is the virus? And where is the data?”

The scientist quiver in fear, pointing to the incubator behind a safety glass and he tells Georgiou about the data core inside the computer in the room.

“Is there a copy of this data?” inquires Georgiou holding onto to the throat of the scientist, who begins to plead for his life.

“Please. Let me go. We’re instructed to create it.”

“Is there a copy?”

“No. This is the only one.” replies the scientist and Georgiou brakes his neck then shots the other two in the head with her phaser. She places two charges on the side of the incubator, one at the computer, grabs the data core and she jumps back into the shaft to leave in a different direction.

* * *

“Spock! Finally!” exclaims Michael but when only Spock jumps down from the shaft, she quickly turns worried. “Where is Georgiou?”

“She said that she has something to do and didn’t let me help her.”

Michael massages her temple “Of course, she said that.” then she switches attitude. “Silek, Davies escort Spock back to the extraction point. I’ll go and help Georgiou.” orders Michael.

“Understood, Commander.” replies Silek and they proceed back to Airiam.

Michael pulls out her communicator “Private channel to Saru. Saru do you read me?”

“I’m here Michael. What happened?”

“Locate Georgiou.” Michael replies shortly.

“She is headed for the other side of the station through the shafts, she is still on the same level. You can catch up with her, if you follow the corridor.” Michael runs out to reach Georgiou, maintaining the connection.

“She is about 20 meters ahead of you.” reports Saru and the connection drops.

“Saru…Damn it”

Michael arrives on the spot as Georgiou jumps down from the shaft and she raises her phaser on Georgiou.

“That was quick.” notes Georgiou smiling. “But I’m afraid this is where this adventure ends. Let me go, Michael.”

“What did you do?”

“The virus will not be a problem in two minutes if the scientist was not lying. I advise that you order your team to transport back with you.” replies coolly Georgiou, she pushes a switch on her wrist, and Michael’s communicator comes back to life.

“Airiam, get back to the Discovery ASAP. Saru will transport me back, when I’m ready.” orders Michael through her communicator. “Saru, lock on me and Georgiou and get us out.”

“I can’t get a lock on Georgiou.”

“Then wait on my signal.” tells Michael to Saru. “Now what?” Michael asks her phaser still pointing at Georgiou.

“Now, you let me go on my way.”

“What do you plan to do with that?” asks Michael indicating toward the data core in Georgiou’s hand.

“I’ve told you.”

“Do you want to bring it back to Section 31?”

“No, I’m not letting it fall to anybody’s hands. At Section 31 there are some, who would use it as my predecessor.”

Michael lowers her phaser. “How do you leave the station?”

“I happen to have a ride waiting for me outside.” smiles Georgiou.

“What about Section 31?”

Georgiou steps closer “I tell them that we fought over it and the core was dropped.”

“Why would they believe you?” asks Michael in suspicion.

“Because they have access to medical records.” and she jumps and kicks Michael in the jaw but only bruising Michael in the process who stumbles back. “Doctor Pollard will write in your records that you got a broken jaw and have a mild concussion.” says Georgiou. “You have about 80 seconds to leave. “ and Georgiou’s form is lost in a transporter shimmer.

“Saru, get me out, now!” orders Michael holding onto the bruise on her cheek.

* * *

“Captain, we have a Klingon cruiser dropping out of cloak.” reports Owosekun.

“All stations, red alert!” orders Pike and he jumps out of his seat, but Lieutenant Bryce quickly adds.

“Captain, the Klingon ship is hailing us on a Federation channel.”

“What the hell? On screen!” orders Pike and he finds himself facing Georgiou. “Captain Georgiou?”

“Captain Pike, I assure you that this ship is not going to attack you, however I advise that you reroute additional powers to the front shield.”

Owosekun looks back at Pike “Sir?”

Pike nods “Do as she says.” and a few seconds later the station explodes.

“What is the meaning of this, Captain Georgiou?”

“My crew detected a failsafe, a dead switch that we tripped when the team hacked the security system.” answers Georgiou.

“Is this your new ship?”

“Oh, this is beauty was confiscated by the Federation a few months back. And I’m only a passenger. I’m afraid that I cannot stay longer on the Discovery, I was ordered to another sector.” says Georgiou and Michael happens to arrive at that time to the bridge with Saru.

“Commander, nice of you to join us.” notes Pike then frowns at the bruise on Michael. “Commander, what happened?”

“I got into a fight.” replies Michael but her gaze is on the viewscreen.

“Well then, thank you for the accommodation. And Captain Pike take good care but more importantly take good care of those in your care. Georgiou, out.” says Georgiou, her voice carrying warmth. Michael eyes begins to mist over Georgiou’s words, then her mind takes over. _How did she know that line?_

“Captain, the Klingon ship jumped into warp.”

“Commander Saru, put together a team to investigate the station’s wreckage. And Commander Burnham, visit the doctor, it doesn’t look good.” orders Pike without looking at his Command team.

When Saru and Michael step into the turbo lift again, Michael stops it and pushes up against Saru. “How did she know what was in Captain Georgiou’s will, Saru?” growls Michael.

“What are you talking about? What’s wrong with you?” asks Saru pushing Michael away.

“That last sentence, was entirely from Captain Georgiou’s will. There are no copies of those disks, they are designed that way.” Michael leans closer pointing her finger accusingly at Saru’s chest “You have the disk.”

Saru sighs. “Computer start turbo lift. You go and see the doctor, and I’ll come by later.”

“I’ll check her room after, you have 30 minutes to come up with a reasonable explanation.” says Michael angrily to Saru and she marches toward the sick bay. She pulls out her communicator. “Tilly, meet me at Georgiou’s quarter in 5 minutes.”

“Commander can’t it wait?” asks Stamets instead of Tilly and in the background, she can hear loud bustling. “One of the stations overloaded, we’re trying to save as much data as we can.”

“Then I’m not holding you up.” _What are the chances?_ Michael thinks to herself as she approaches Doctor Pollard.

“Commander! What happened?”

“I’ve lost a debate.” says Michael hopping on a bed, then asks “What did she told you?”

Pollard begins to heal Michael’s bruise “That this is for your protection. And we’re done. I assume you know your medical condition?”

“Yes, I’ve been told.” and Michael heads for Georgiou’s room.

When she opens the door, everything is cloaked in darkness. “Computer, lights.” As she looks around, there is nothing out of its place, and everything is neatly organised. Michael checks for Georgiou’s luggage but it is missing. She notes a PADD and the chip on the night stand. She sits down on the bed and attaches the chip to the PADD. It comes to life, and a short message appears: 21 days, my turn. Michael smiles and shakes her head, _I’ll never understand her_.

After making sure that there is nothing else inside the room Michael walks back to her own waiting for Saru.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, there is still one more chapter to go which I haven't yet written, but I know exactly what I want to write. I just had to post everything "action-y" before watching the new featurette. Yep, no self-control over spoilers :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. A new beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is more than meets the eye.

Saru sighs heavily before Michael’s door, his hands grasping the handle of a prized possession. When Michael gave him Captain Georgiou’s telescope, he was overjoyed, that he’d have something from the person he admired, who opened his eyes to the world. As soon as he arrived back to his quarters with the telescope, he wanted to put out on display for everyone to see, but when he opened the case and took a closer look on its battered surface, his heart told him otherwise. It is not his, it was never intended to be. It belongs to Michael, to show her the care of her mentor and that she overcome the hardships life thrown at her. Saru knew that at that time Michael’s consciousness was heavy with shame and guilt which prevented her to move forward. However, by now, she’d battled and conquered herself and she managed to let go of her shame that kept her chained down. It was time to put the final piece of puzzle back to her soul. Saru chimes on the door.

“Come in.” Michael jumps up from her bed expecting a heavy argument with Saru. As he steps in, she notices the familiar case and she gasps, her heart skips a beat and she falter, taking a step back. “Why did you bring it with you, Saru?” asks Michael, she not even dares to utter the name of Captain Georgiou.

Saru puts down the case on Michael’s table. “I suppose the Emperor said those words, because she knew it would rile you up and ask about this. So, here it is. It belongs to you.” begins Saru his explanation and Michael’s eyes begin to mist up. “As much as I detest the Emperor, there is one thing we agreed upon.” he takes in a deep breath and looks directly into Michael’s eyes. “I wanted to give you back this when we arrive on Vulcan, but the new mission crossed my plans. And the Emperor also wanted you to have it back.”

Michael clenches her fists together. “I gave you this, it does not belong to me, Saru.” she forces out. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Yes, you do.” argues Saru. “I’ve kept it for safekeeping, so I could give it back, when you’re not ashamed of yourself anymore.”

“Saru.” Michael almost begs, her voice quiver.

“Michael, take a good look into yourself and tell me when was last time you’ve felt ashamed of who you are, because what you’ve done at the binary stars? And when was the first time you felt the weight of guilt lift a bit off you?” asks Saru, trying to prove a point.

Michael furrows her brows. “I …” she wants to give an honest answer. “When we destroyed the Klingon sarcophagus ship. When I got back Captain Georgiou’s badge.”      

“And what do you think what made you to let go Captain Georgiou’s death and made you think that you’d done good by her, and she would have been proud of your actions?”

Michael bits her lips trying to sort through her emotions bustling to erupt and to think clearly, but she can’t manage to voice her answer.

Saru sighs “There is one other reason I was maybe a bit lenient of the Emperor in last few days.” Michael looks on Saru in question. “She had been an integral part in your recovery, no matter how I try to write her out of the equation.”

Michael can only stand in silence not trusting her voice.

Saru takes his chance and continues on hoping not to rile Michael up. “The Emperor asked for the disk with the will, when she came aboard 8 days ago.”

“What? And you gave it to her? What if she’d destroyed the message?” asks Michael in bewilderment and hastily reaching for the disk on the case to check its content.

“The Emperor assured me that she will not delete it. She told me that she got an unsent message of Captain Georgiou addressed to you through Starfleet, she wanted to expand the will’s message with that.”

“How?”

“The Shenzhou was heavily damaged, most systems were not working properly. It is possible that a message was stored in a communication array. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Emperor herself left something there as well.” says Saru in a lowered voice.

Michael touches the disk and a familiar face appears bringing new tears into Michael’s eyes.

Saru takes one last look on Captain Georgiou’s face then he heads out, no wanting to disturb Michael.

“Saru!” Michael calls after him, stilling the message. “I …”

“There is nothing to be sorry for. Your anger was justified. I’m glad that I could help. I just hope that the next time I visit you, the telescope will not be residing in the case.” and he walks out.

Michael turns back to the message. She stands at attention as she did the first time, she heard it. When the message is finished, she takes in a deep breath fortifying herself for the continuation. The new addition starts in a blur, but then Captain Georgiou’s face becomes clear. Her hair is in a bit disarray, she’d donned her tactical vest, sitting at her desk in the ready room. _This must be shortly before we transported over to the Klingon vessel_ , thinks Michael.

“Michael, I don’t have much time to justify what I am going to say.” starts the Captain hurriedly. “When you walked in on the bridge after the brig was destroyed, it was a sparkling light in the darkness. I wanted you to understand, that yes, I was disappointed in your actions at first but I forgave you, though the second part I couldn’t get to in time. So, I’m telling you now. Know, that I’m going on that ship with you as proud of you as I was before, if not more.” Captain Georgiou pauses and smiles encouragingly. “You have been walking on your own for a while now, do not be afraid to let go and walk your path. Explore the universe and yourself alike. Live.” Just as Captain Georgiou would add something more, she is interrupted by Michael’s voice at her ready room’s door that everything is ready. She looks up at her, nods and blindly reaches toward the buttons. The message ends.

Michael can barely breathe, she manages to pause the message and she stumbles back to her bed, her legs giving up under her. She releases a strangled cry at the pain and happiness the message carries to her heart. Michael cannot hold her tears back anymore and she cries whole heartedly for minutes. When the first wave of emotions subsides, she reaches for Captain Georgiou’s badge in her pocket. “Thank you, Philippa.” she says out loud. She sniffles and wipes off her cheek. Michael stands and walks to the case continuing the message to play it until the end. To her surprise another message begins, this time it is from the Emperor.

“Michael, the mission I’m tasked is more dangerous than the people I work with realise. There is a high chance that something will go wrong and we’ll never see each other again, so I’ve decided to not miss a chance again.” begins Georgiou firmly, then her tone changes to more gentle. “I’ve told you before, that there are no second chances, though I have to admit sometimes it feels to me that there is. You’re about 85% of my Michael, so I take what I can get, but don’t feel obligated to feel the same way as I claim no such similarity with your Captain Georgiou. Maybe 10% if we count in the appearance.” begins Georgiou, and Michael represses a laugh. Georgiou then holds up a picture. “This picture contains the location of a cache that only the two of us can open. The picture file is stored on this disk. Should you need a financial aid anytime in your future, the cache will be at your disposal, storing various valuable items. The number of items contained will increase as long as I am alive in this universe.” Michael has a hard time wrapping her head around the meaning of Georgiou’s words, _she is leaving me an inheritance_. “If I die for any reason, don’t let it drag you down as your Captain Georgiou’s death. I’ve accepted death long before and I am thankful that I got another chance to look into my daughters’ eyes.” finishes Georgiou.

Michael is overtaken by the whole experience. She sits back on the bed, thinking through Saru’s words along with her two “mothers’”. Peace fills her heart and soul. Peace that she felt in her last years on the Shenzhou, and another wave of tears well up expressing the emotional toll.

When she moves from her position she reaches for her communicator. “Tilly, is everything under control now, in engineering?”

“We’ve finished an hour ago.” Tilly’s mention of time surprises Michael.

“Then, can I ask you to come over? I have something I wish to show you.”

“Sure. I’ll be there in a few.” replies Tilly concerned.

Michael opens the cache and lightly touches the surface of her telescope, a smile adorns her face. _Tilly will know, what’s the best place for it in this room._

 

* * *

 

Saru, Tilly, Stamets and Michael are sitting at a table in the canteen over their lunch “What are you working on?” asks Tilly from Michael indicating to a PADD lying beside Michael’s plate.

“What do you mean?” replies Michael back.

“She means that it is rare that you walk around with a PADD in your hand, constantly checking it.” says Stamets in annoyance. “But I’m also interested, so what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“You usually have a good poker face Burnham but this” and Stamets indicates to Michael’s face “is not one of them.” but Michael still doesn’t want to divulge. “Come on, we solved the mysterious case of red bursts, your brother and Captain Pike will go back to the Enterprise in two days and we didn’t have a real life or death situation ever since we broke your brother out. I need some excitement!” exclaims Stamets.

“You really need to redefine your definition of excitement Mr. Stamets.” adds Saru. “Those 20 days spent after the destruction of the station, tracking down the source was a scientific challenge in itself that proved enough excitement for most of the crew. And personally, after almost two months the last 4 days of just travelling to catch up with the Enterprise is a well-deserved break.”

“And it became boring the second day.” argues Stamets.

“We can’t really afford blowing up something every 24 days, Lieutenant.” says Tilly but as soon as it was out of her mouth, she realises what she’d said. _24 days_. She quickly turns her head to Michael. “Seriously, that’s why you’ve that thing with you all day?”

Michael drinks from her cup and stays silent and Tilly takes it as a confirmation.

“OK. But please, don’t wake me up in the middle of the night.” says Tilly.

“Why does it feel like we’re left out on something?” asks Stamets from Saru.

“Because we are left out.” ascertains Saru.

“That was a week after. Now, it is only three days late.” Michael decides to answer and though she lowered her voice, Saru heard her.

“What is late?” asks Saru.

Tilly looks at Michael and Michael indicates Tilly to zip it.

“Ensign Tilly, for the next week you’ll scrub the plasma relays if you don’t tell.” warns Stamets.

Michael sighs. “Fine. Captain Georgiou and I have a routine in contacting the other every three weeks. Before she came back, her message was a week late, and she was never late before. Now, she is three days late and I’m beginning to be worried again.”

Saru huffs, but Stamets completely misses it as he leans closer to Michael. ”You know, between you and me I don’t think she is the type you should be worried about.” at Stamets expression, Tilly chokes on her water and Saru murmurs something unintelligible under his breath. Stamets gasps and points to Saru “You’re on this as well! I can’t believe you all left me out. Such a comradery!” proclaims Stamets. “So, please explain why the two of you need to be in touch so frequently? The first Captain I served under, he was my Captain for 10 years. I only feel to write to him around every year, out of polite gesture. And the two of you looked way too chummy for my taste.”

Michael smiles and for the first time she feels like she doesn’t need to tell a lie about Georgiou. “Because she is family.” Saru and Tilly hums in response and they kind of agree with Michael’s assessment.

“Family, huh?” huffs Stamets. You know what? I go back and see if I can tweak something.” and Stamets leave, his offended behaviour is a clearly for show. “Ensign Tilly, your presence is required in engineering in 20 minutes!” adds Stamets in his leave.

“What was her real mission at the station?” asks Saru, now that nobody is within earshot, as the younger crew is already on their way to shift.

“To get the virus.” cleverly leaving out for whom, Tilly is after all can’t know about Section 31. “But she went there to destroy it.”

“Why would she do that?” asks Tilly. “She almost eradicated a whole planet. In her universe she actually blew it up.”

“This is different.” defends Michael Georgiou’s actions. “She told me about something in her past, and based on what Lieutenant Commander Airiam brought back as intel, this virus was about as bad as the one she encountered. She didn’t want a repeat of that.”

“I still don’t understand.” argues Saru. “Why wouldn’t someone like her want a virus that can be engineered to specific species?”

“Because it can easily be turned against anybody.”  explains Michael. “She saw how an accident put up everyone for a prolonged suffering on a whole planet. And when she disobeyed orders on getting a sample from it, she was almost killed.”

“Is that why you’re worried? That they would do something to her for her disobedience again?” asks Tilly. “The Federation wouldn’t do that.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Remember, they’ve sanctioned her plans.” says Saru in a questioning tone helping Michael out not exposing Section 31.

“Oh, yeah right.” whispers Tilly.

“Yes, that’s one part. The other is that she went to destroy their sample. She could’ve gotten infected and she wouldn’t have told me about it.”

“But being her medical proxy, you’d have been notified, wouldn’t you?”

“If I got infected with something like that, I’d find a way to kill myself so my body couldn’t be recovered and stay away from people. Nobody would know.” says Michael.

Silence fills the area on the revelation. Tilly uncomfortably stands up and puts a hand on Michael’s shoulder before leaving. “Forget what I’ve said, I’m available 24/7.”

“You still think that she is telling you the truth?” asks Saru also prepared to leave.

Michael nods and she was left to her dark thoughts alone in the canteen.

 

* * *

 

The next day as Michael takes a last look on her appearance before heading out for her shift, her PADD pings.  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is it. The End.
> 
> Thank you all, who kept up with the story, I hope you were entertained. Also special thanks to the_eh_team and GoDisco for their wordly encouragements!
> 
> Because of the new season, my missing scenes stories, [Bond across universes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896777/chapters/31978515) will surely get an update here or there, based on what we get on the show.
> 
> Not being a native English speaker corrections and criticism are always welcome.


End file.
